Raw Minds
Welcome to Raw Minds, the podcast where we explore the challenges and triumphs of men's mental health, single fatherhood, and daily life experiences. In each episode, we dive deep into the issues that go on in men's minds, sharing personal stories and insights that can help you better understand yourself and the world around you. Whether you're a single dad, dealing with mental health challenges, or simply looking for inspiration and guidance, this podcast is for you. So, sit back, relax, and join us on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
Raw Minds
Raw Minds S2 Ep. 10 - From Navy SEAL to Youth Advocate: Tom’s Inspiring Path to Empowerment
In Raw Minds S2 Ep. 10 - From Navy SEAL to Youth Advocate: Tom’s Inspiring Path to Empowerment, we dive into the extraordinary journey of Tom, a former Navy SEAL who overcame immense personal struggles to become a voice for today’s youth. This episode explores Tom’s story of resilience and redemption—from the intense challenges of SEAL training to the dark chapters of addiction and loss. Tom shares how he hit rock bottom, facing moments that nearly shattered him, only to find new purpose through recovery and self-discovery.
As he opens up about his struggles and the transformative impact of his military experience, Tom offers invaluable insights into what it means to truly overcome adversity. Now a dedicated youth advocate, he is on a mission to empower young adults through Honor Bound Academy, a groundbreaking “Rite of Passage” program designed to guide youth as they step into adulthood.
We also discuss his recently released book, Special Welfare, Social Warfare, a powerful reflection on resilience and mentorship. In it, Tom details his journey and shares the hard-won lessons that drive his work today. You can find Tom's book on Amazon here, and for those who want to dive deeper, the book is more than a story—it’s a call to action for anyone ready to support the next generation’s journey toward strength and purpose.
Connect with Tom:
📧 Email: honorboundacademy@hotmail.com | tom@thehonorboundacademy.org
🌐 Website: https://thehonorboundacademy.org/contact/
🔗 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tjlagravejr/
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/thomasjlagravejr/
📸 Instagram: instagram.com/thomasjlagravejr/
▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@thomasjlagravejr
Call to Action:
If you’ve dealt with toxic surroundings or have your own experiences with struggle and growth, we want to hear from you. Drop us a comment, share your story, or leave a review to help others who might be going through the same thing. You can also reach out to us at Rawmindspodcast@gmail.com. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who might need it. We can’t thank you enough for being part of the Raw Minds community.
We are back once again to the show that shatters the silence on men's mental health. We are unedited, unfiltered.
Speaker 2:And, as always, we are going raw. My name's Anthony and I'm Joey.
Speaker 3:And I'm Eric and we're your hosts. And welcome to Raw Minds. There it is.
Speaker 2:Bro, you hit the play button and Joey just flipped. Fucking energy man I know, who is this?
Speaker 1:guy. I know Joey just flipped Fucking energy man. I know who is this guy.
Speaker 3:I know he just came out of nowhere, fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:Love it. You know it's funny, man. We were just talking about it right before the show. We're all human beings, man. We all deal with things mentally, internally. I was just talking to someone really close to me today about it and she even brought it up to me. She's like you have the tools, you preach it, we all have the tools, but sometimes you just get stuck in your head, you know, and we always say it's okay to take a knee. And I took a knee for a couple days, man, because I felt like I was just getting beat up and in certain areas of my life you know my, I have no complaints, my life is good, but there is life, you know. We go through shit and it kicks you in the face and they're just like and yeah, and she's like you have the tools. So you know, and I'm like, yeah, I know, I preach it, I know the tools to get out of this, but some days.
Speaker 1:You just it's hard, man, it's really tough, yeah, but that that's the whole point of learning these tools. So, just like I told her, I was like, instead of it sitting and weighing us down for a week, two weeks, three months, you know you're able to get out. You're able to get out of that way faster, right? Because no matter how good your life is, something's waiting around the corner and something's going to happen where it's going to bring you down again.
Speaker 1:But it's having the tools that we share. You know, we we only help with the tools that helped us, right? That's? That's what we're doing, just to try to help you guys that are listening, or anyone. New listening is to add new tools to that belt so that way, when you do get kicked in the face that you're not sitting in it and dwelling on it for six months, you're able to pull yourself up and keep moving and keep pushing forward. Right, I definitely took a knee for two or three days, but I'm all right, man, I'm good. So I was reminded of that by her today. Like you got the tools, man, so well that's, that's just it.
Speaker 3:Man, you know, the biggest tool is realizing that you're you're in this mess and needing to change right. It's about figuring that out. Look at what I told you, and Anthony too. You guys know that just on Thursday, I now have my daughter living with me full time.
Speaker 2:I was granted that.
Speaker 3:So I'm a full-time dad now. I'm taking my daughter to school and back. I haven't had that experience since I was with my kids mom, so that's that's pretty magical, you know. And uh, it comes with its difficulties already, but I mean it's just things that we got to work out right. So pretty, pretty proud of that that I have my daughter full time now, so that's a win to the dads well, it's like I said it's.
Speaker 2:It's an adjustment, like you. You said you didn't really feel like it's an adjustment, but it is right like it's. It's in all aspects. Like I said, it's like now you got to worry about before and after school. Now you got to make sure you got food every day, right it's an adjustment, but, like it's, the one tool that I got that I could never get rid of, even if I fucking wanted to, was my self-awareness my level of self-awareness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and it's like you said, joey, like you know, things are not great right now in certain parts of your life same with me, man. Like shit's going on and and it's like when you have that level of self-awareness it's like you can put it in the corner, but it's gonna fucking scream at you the whole time because now you know that it's there and you know how to fix it. It's just when you're ready to fix it right. And then I did the same thing, man. Sometimes it's just like I'll just take a day to feel bad about myself. That's okay, right? I call it life just doing life, shit. That's what it is, man life just doing life.
Speaker 3:Shit, that's what it is, man Life just doing life shit.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was me yesterday.
Speaker 3:Sometimes you got to take a knee man.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you do that was me yesterday, man. Like I just literally just told myself I'm doing nothing and then I just laid there all day and I just felt defeated. And the thing is is like I'm doing a lot of positive things, but it's just that certain part where the last month I would say at least where, just like man, like you know you're grinding, you know you're working your ass off and it just feels like you just keep slamming your head into a brick wall, like why am I even doing this? But, that being said, is that's where people quit. This is where people give up. This is where people you know I'm trying to build you a business and this and these things that people are trying to do, and this is where people are like I can't do this, it's not worth it, I'm not getting results.
Speaker 1:Just like going to the gym. People go to the gym for a month. They don't see what they like they quit the gym. Well, guess what? You're never going going to see that results because you quit.
Speaker 1:And this is where the hard part is. Like going to the gym and getting a shave. It's not easy starting a business and and getting the door shut on you and people saying no and your product sucks. Yeah, it's like a comedian getting laughed off the stage when they start same shit. Yeah, but that's the times where you just got to be like, like you said, the level of self-awareness where you're like I know the tools, I know this is a part of life and you're not going to please everybody. Not everyone's going to like what you're doing, but this is where you got to get through these moments of your life, because when you do get there, you'd be like I went through that to get to this and because I didn't give up.
Speaker 1:This is where I'm at now and that's what's pushing me and obviously I'm never going to quit. But yeah, we're humans. Every so often I'm like fuck this, I ain't doing nothing, I'm done. I don't want to do this shit anymore. I hate this. I'm not throwing in the towel. That's how you feel. I mean that's normal shit, right, but that's where literally 98% of people do throw in the towel, like I. Just it's too much. I'm stressed out Like man. But you'll never get to where you want to be without stepping out of your comfort zone, stepping out of that bubble, and just keep pushing through, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:It makes a big difference.
Speaker 3:It makes a big difference when you're doing what you love too, though, Because rumor has it.
Speaker 1:I heard from a little friend of ours over here that you were actually djing and there's yeah, you were. I saw your snaps. Yeah, man, I was jumping. I was jumping on the decks for a few minutes, but I'm not like I used to dj. I dj 20 years ago, but you know, I just jumped on there for a little bit because I hosted that event on Saturday.
Speaker 3:Calm down there. Tiesto, Calm down there.
Speaker 1:That's just something. Music is something I've always enjoyed and that's what we talked about in the past is just find things that drive you, that gives you purpose, that excites you, even if it's not another job, that gives you purpose, that excites you, even if it's not another job. You know, like real quick example is I work with a guy and he's a great dude, awesome, and we talk every day for months and he was struggling because he didn't have nothing. He couldn't find something. He's like I don't know what to do. I want to do something, but I can't find it. And that's where people get down and really depressed is because they don't feel like they have a purpose right and they're struggling to find something that lifts them up and gets them going.
Speaker 1:And I said well, what is it you always wanted? He's like oh, he's been big in photography. I'm like buy a camera, man, start there, you got to buy the camera. And he's like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, when I had my event coming up to him, like, why don't you get a camera? And then you can come snap pictures and practice and learn it. And I had a big fashion photographer there that's going to give him pointers. And two weeks ago. He's like I bought the cameraman. I'm like well done, and that made me feel good.
Speaker 1:Right now. And then he's excited. He came to the party, he's walking around, he's getting the big photographers helping him, and that was it right there. I'm like there you go, buddy, you just got to start. And that's what I'm trying to say to people is like, stop hesitating, because they'll never be the right time. You know what I mean. In anything, you just got to do it. There's no right time. If you just keep waiting for the right time to do what you want to do, dude, you'll never do it because it'll never be the right time. There is no right time.
Speaker 2:You just got to pull the trigger. Yeah, period, sign up for that. Saying actually about that, saying that I heard, is paralysis through analysis. You're overthinking the situation, but you're not doing anything about it. You're thinking it through and through and through. But real, realistically, you're paralyzing yourself because you're it's all in here, just got my fucking vape in my hand, it's all in here, right, and you're not actually doing anything about it. And we talked about that like two fucking weeks ago. Man, like getting stuck in your head.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fighting your own self, man, you're fighting your own mind, dude, you're having more. You have some of the the worst conversations with yourself because, at the end of the day, you're yourself is the biggest critic.
Speaker 1:Right, also nothing kills you faster than the thoughts in your own head yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 1:So once you learn to get out of that and and push through that because we all have it, man, we all fight ourselves. I battle myself every day. I'm doing it right now I'm like fuck. So you know what I mean. So it's, uh, finding those tools, man, and people listening, that's, that's it. And and, like I said, there's never the right time to take that chance, there's never the right time to step out of your zone and you know, sign up for that class, take that job. Any opportunity comes up, man, take it, you it. You have to Fight. And then you have anxiety. You got to push through it because once you do it, you'll realize what the fuck was I so worried about? I love this. I should have done this three years ago or whatever, you know, because I've done that recently I'm like man, why didn't I do this a long time ago? So the more you drag it out, man, the more you're going to be fighting yourself and, like you said, paralyzing yourself.
Speaker 3:Yep, so yeah, Well, I just want to say that we have a guest today and we are. You didn't know.
Speaker 2:Crazy, I never even noticed.
Speaker 3:Newsflash.
Speaker 2:Newsflash buddy.
Speaker 3:We got reached out from his publicist and we were blown away. Yeah, he wrote a book. It's his second book actually, it's Special Welfare on Social Warfare. That's right. Yeah, I hope I said that. Yeah, and just a little bit about our guest. His name is Tom. He was a former Navy SEAL who went through intense training and life altering challenges, including a discharge due to drug use, which led him to a path of recovery and redemption, and through his experiences he discovered his purpose helping young adults navigating through difficult problems and life from adolescence to adulthood. And then he became a licensed clinical social worker and has worked with youth in recovery programs focusing on resilience and mental health. So, without further ado, I want to welcome our guest. Thank you, tom, for joining us, and we are excited to have you.
Speaker 1:And I'm excited. Yes, sir, welcome.
Speaker 4:I appreciate it. So it's at this point just to attach to the conversation you're all having. The book was the nonprofit that I have that's introduced in this book.
Speaker 3:I have sought funding for the last 12 years. I think we lost him there for a second.
Speaker 4:And I saw in myself that I was going to See. We forewarned. Tom about technical issues he needs to want to have them.
Speaker 3:There you are, buddy, you're back. You're good, we'll start over. Go're good. We're not going anywhere for you, but we'll wait around you guys warned me on that one to say just keep going there, he goes again yeah, you're good, it happens man okay, so do, do I pick up go back.
Speaker 4:Just keep on going, man brother um, my dream was to have what I'm trying to still get today at the age of 50. And I am now 15 years older and I never gave up. But it's one of those things that it's never easy and it comes in its own time. And to learn how to be patient is what it's been all about for the last decade. So the story is special welfare, social warfare, special welfare. I'm a social worker. I am a licensed clinical board certified. My main focus is youth, 18, 19, and 20. But I also do therapy for all kinds of individuals. It doesn't matter what your background. I still. I'm semi-retired. I only work two days In those two days I do therapy with a number of folks, work two days In those two days I do therapy with a number of folks. So, getting back to the point, is the social warfare?
Speaker 4:Former Navy SEAL. I spent the military was 1979 to 1988. I went through BUDS, which is Basic Underwater Demolition SEAL training. My class was 106. We graduated February, the 29th, 1980.
Speaker 4:And nine years later I was discharged for drug use from SEAL Team 1. And that was the first time I had lost in a way that I couldn't figure out how to get it back. I totally, completely imploded and the military was like we're no more here. So what I was given was a general under honorable and they gave me a RE code of four, which means I can't go back in the military. The general means that after a year I can get a military lawyer and have it upgraded, which means I can't go back in the military. The general means that after a year I can get a military lawyer and have it upgraded, which I did. So now I have the honorable discharge.
Speaker 4:So that was the beginning, and what happened was I come out of the military, experiencing life like there's no way to describe it, and so I end up in the civilian world where, for the past 10 years, I've been operating throughout the world in ways that you know. The stories don't need to be told there. You know the name and you can use your imagination. Bottom line was I was in terrible shape. I was at my peak. I'm 6'3", 215, 220. On that day of discharge I was 6'3", 165. And I was still looking in the mirror thinking I look good. Well, anyways, I end up in a recovery facility. I do 90 days and that's the beginning.
Speaker 4:It allowed me to break the physical habit, but it did not begin to teach me how to live life, and that was. That's still difficult. What I did was I came up with the idea that I could not see my childhood. I just remember that it was good, there was nothing negative about it. I couldn't feel it, I couldn't see it. So my idea is, if I've got to go back there, go back to put yourself into an environment in which you can see what you were and address it in real time. So the divine wisdom in my mind is well, I'll go to work at an adolescent recovery facility and work with kids that were my age when I started, and maybe I can learn something. Yeah, wow, that was an education. So that was. I spent four years not there helping kids. I spent four years not there helping kids. You know what?
Speaker 4:I was there watching them and having them help me and, in turn, in that time, the key element to me is this is my personal belief If you're having trouble with staying sober, it's about purpose and meaning. With staying sober, it's about purpose and meaning For me with these youth. They gave me purpose and the meaning that I saw in that was I'm going to work the rest of my life in giving back to them the gift they gave to me, and so that's been my journey for the last three decades. Good for you.
Speaker 4:And I need to put in there and and acknowledge this that, uh, after 32 years of sobriety, I relapsed and I relapsed because of uh, I forgot I had arrived, I hadn't used in a long time and just didn't see that there was any trouble. Well, I have. I'm a veteran in the VA. The VA 10 years ago would be very kind with their bottles of Vicodin, so I wasn't prescribed pills, I was given bottles. Once a month bottles show up.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 4:I justified in my mind that, well, what I used in the form of alcohol and drugs, this isn't that. So I'm not really I'm not cheating. The bottom line is you can wrap it up in anything you want and call it whatever you want, but the bottom line is the price you pay is the truth. And the truth is I started chipping away and at 32 years I relapsed. After three weeks I was suicidal, went back to the VA and got some help. But the help that I got was my family, my brothers. We're a family of recovering addicts and alcoholics. My brothers put it to me succinctly they said if you want to quit, we're here for you. If you don't, don't come around, don't show up, don't come knocking. We don't want to see you. So I made the choice right then, and that was five years ago.
Speaker 1:So, that's the piece.
Speaker 4:I like to share that says I am like you know, everybody else I'm a drug addict, addict, alcoholic, trying to figure it out who had an experience with youth that gave me purpose and meaning.
Speaker 3:so the first book that's up on the shelf there is the bell tolls for thee did you want to bring it right to the the screen so you can show everybody that can that are watching? Man, we'd love for that.
Speaker 4:My publisher is going to thank you for telling me to do that. So this is the first book that I wrote, and it was written while I was in the Horn of Africa, djibouti.
Speaker 4:Yeah none with that one. So I was working as a contractor with the DOD, the Department of Defense, as a clinician working with active duty military, and I would go anywhere in the world where they were at and there's a little base in Djibouti called Camp Lomonye and I was then shifted around through Kenya to Ethiopia and at that time this book came about. I had a lot of downtime and I would just start writing, and I just wrote.
Speaker 3:I don't want to interrupt you there, but can you just give the title of the book just for everybody, so they have it.
Speaker 4:The bell tolls for thee, there you go.
Speaker 3:Okay, you got it, yep.
Speaker 4:Perfect. So it came so naturally, and all that I did was I told my backstory since birth to the time I was sitting in a third world country, watching and experiencing a life that I couldn't have imagined unless I had been put in it, which I had, and so that there was trying to also, at the end of the book, acknowledge that I have a program. I'm trying to get it funded so that I can work with youth. I can work with youth, specifically 18, 19, and 20-year-olds, and it was. I think I sold 400 copies and I think my father bought like 200 of them.
Speaker 3:And the program is Honored Bound Academy.
Speaker 4:The program is called Honored Bound Academy. The website, just so that you can have that and thank you, is thehonorboundacademyorg. All of it put together, thehonorboundacademyorg. So where we are with life is in their existence Generation X and now this generation Z. This generation is more intuitive than any generation that's come before them and where the problem is, from my clinical way of looking at it, the adult population in America right now is at a crossroads and they are at loggerheads, is at a crossroads and they are at loggerheads. Nobody wants to listen to nobody else and at this point, because everybody is like dug in, our youth are being bombarded with all of this, trying to make sense of it and not having the words to do it or not having enough of an understanding of their emotions to correctly see it so that they can move through it. They are left right now with issues that are just heartbreaking, and so Honor Bound Academy is just one dimension of what I'm looking to do, and that is the military.
Speaker 4:When I went through in the Navy has special forces. I went through BUDS, which is basic underwater demolition, seal training, and what that is is for me, it was rite of passage, it was intense for six months and the only thing that you had to do was not quit, and every day you were treated well, not quite well. So the bottom line is that it's the rite of passage that I'm looking at Now. If you create a rite of passage and say it came from the military, nobody's going to touch this thing, and so this isn't what it's about.
Speaker 4:When I was a youth, I participated in a thing that was called the Indian Guides. I also did Boy Scouting, who did boy scouting? So I'm looking at a civilian equivalent to a rite of passage, with a foundation that is built upon a structure that challenges, and it's not like Bud's in that the challenge was they tried to make me quit and I tried to not quit. This is we want to teach you in ways and put you in environments where you're going to fail, and that's the point. I want you to fail so that I can help you understand that failure is a right that you have that nobody can take from you. You have the right to fail. Where you've got a problem is if you won't get back up and try again, then that's failure that's real failure, definitely talk about that all the time, like, and it's, it's so true, tom, just like, like I feel like my generation.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what I am.
Speaker 4:To be honest with you, but like what generation I fall?
Speaker 2:into. But I'm in that weird generation of, like my parents were boomers and then, like I, was the transitional generation, of I remember not having internet and cell phones but I also have internet and cell phones now and my kids, like I remember like doing stuff with my, my, my PlayStation and my computer, and my parents were like I have no idea what you're doing. And now my daughter's nine years old and she does stuff with my phone and I'm like I have no idea what you're doing and I'm turning into my parents, like oh my God, but I used to have a business building houses and the level of entitlement that is in this younger generation, with there's so much entitlement, is in this younger generation with there's so much entitlement but there's so much privilege and lack of failure. Because they're so coddled and like everything is okay and like failure is a part of life. 100. But they don't teach like what happens when you fail right, because it's like oh, it's okay, like everything's gonna be okay.
Speaker 2:You need to realize that like sometimes it's not okay, like failing is not okay, but you need to know how to overcome that yeah so, like I totally understand where you're going with this and I totally respect what you're doing, especially at, like that pivotal age, like thinking back from, like christ, 16 to 20 for me, like that was such a an emotional, like pivotal time in my life, you know, and I didn't have the resources to fall back on to, to like, like man, if I had something like this when I was that age, I can't really say life would be that much different.
Speaker 2:But like, if I would have learned these types of tools, that that you're talking about or that like we talk about, like it would have gave me a better chance at I don't want to say failing, because I didn't fail at life, because we're still here, right, like we're still successful, even with you, with all your trials and tribulations, like we're we're not failures by any means but I feel like it would have given me an opportunity to understand myself better at a younger age instead of figuring it out in my 30s, you know, because I don't want to say it's too late, but it's that weird thing. Like our guest last week. He had a great story about breaking the generational trauma and helping his helping heal his father through him doing the healing himself and like that was like his interpretation of breaking the generational trauma.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I can totally understand the the adolescent ages, because I was a friggin delinquent in those ages and I was rebellious as hell well, I think me myself too is you know, the biggest thing I believe in life is your perspective, right, it's how you look at things, right. As you look at or most people, I should say, look at failure as a bad thing. They look at oh, my life's over because they left me, oh, I don't know, I'm so like my life's gone to shit because I lost that job. Well, most people, or a lot of people, should be looking at it like this is a blessing in disguise. This is an opportunity you were just given and I understand if it's a breakup. It's hurtful, believe me, but in that breakup is your biggest blessing, is your biggest opportunity. That's coming because that person left you, because you got laid off, because you got fired, right. And it's all about your perspective and how you look at things.
Speaker 1:And, Tom, I've said it lots on our show before it's your perspectives, either your power or your prison, right it's. Which way are you looking at it? Which way are you taking this setback? And me a prime example I got kicked in the. I'm feeling like I'm getting kicked in the face, but I also have to step back and, like Anthony said, I've gotten to the best place with clarity in my mind where that heightened of self-awareness, where that's screaming at me because I know, right how, the tools that we've learned to try to get out of that little funk that we get into, and that's normal, but it's your perspective Like there's no failure in life.
Speaker 3:Oh, he's gone.
Speaker 2:And there goes Joey, oh, oh and then he's back.
Speaker 3:This is the of uh online.
Speaker 4:Yeah, baby that was a quick one too, bam yeah, yeah, in and out.
Speaker 3:Uh, joey, you can hear us just. Uh, hit your hand and off your your camera and then hit it back on and it should pop you back on. Um, well, he's coming back in can you hear me?
Speaker 2:we can hear you.
Speaker 3:Do the same with your camera and we'll be able to see you too. This is live man, this is raw, this is raw minds. I like it we deal with these technical difficulties on the way, but this is how we grow. Well, what?
Speaker 1:I was just going to finish off saying that the only failure in life is if you quit. That's it. That's the only failure in life is if you quit. That's it. That's the only failure. Because if your business that you started didn't work out and you had to shut the doors, you didn't fail. You did what most people wouldn't do, is you actually tried, you gave it a shot.
Speaker 1:And if your business failed, for example, and it didn't work out, there is a reason for that. There is an another opportunity coming and the universe is telling you that's not what you're supposed to be doing, because something else is going to come around. And like I look back at me being laid off or that person left me and broke my heart. Man, if it wasn't for that, there's no way I'd be doing the things I'm doing now. There's not a chance. So I am so grateful, even though it was hurt and painful and stressful, but through that to get is is the reason that I was able to flip that. So I look back and like that's the biggest blessing and the biggest opportunities I was given ever given is because you left me, because you laid me off. Now I'm, in a way, better job. Now I'm with someone better, you know, and it just just like that, right. So it's all about your perspective and just know that failure, the only way that you're gonna fail, is if you quit. That's the only way yeah, 100.
Speaker 3:um, I got a question for you, tom. Yeah, so what inspired you to write this book, particularly focusing on youth development and rites of passage?
Speaker 4:To be perfectly honest, it was one of those things, that it was an intuition. It just it, light bulb click. It was an intuition. It just it, light bulb click, more of a. There's something that I need to be part of and I need a vehicle to get there, and the book is the vehicle and the story is the point and the purpose. And before moving to that part, to understand what I'm even saying is understanding the spiritual.
Speaker 4:Now, as a clinical therapist, I cannot touch politics or religion. It is unethical for me to do that because it's just, it's not acceptable. I have my own belief system. That's you know. I have it and where I can find the area in which to transition is spirituality, because spirituality is not necessarily religious. It can be, but spirituality is in the book. The way I brought it about was part of the four points that merge together are I utilize Native Americans in their geographic area and in their way of life as being part of Honorbound Academy. So it doesn't have a religion, but it has a Native American representation and it's a foundational basis to understand spirituality and how.
Speaker 4:I'm thinking. It was a year and a half, two years ago. I'm watching what's going on in the world. I'm watching with the adult population that I'm doing therapy with. I'm watching the effect it's having on all the kids and I'm like nobody wants to have a conversation, nobody wants to talk, and I'm looking at, well, how can I make that happen? As a social worker, I work with the homeless, I work with the addicted, I work with the mental health. I worked in the prison system. I've worked in the jail system. I have a body of knowledge at looking at. Why are we dealing with the types of incarcerations that we're looking at, the homelessness, the employed but not employed individuals where there's no hope, there's no purpose and meaning in life.
Speaker 4:And so I sat down and started writing and I felt a crunch. I wanted it done in four months and I was able to write it in four months. I've researched, because anytime you come to me and you tell me you got a problem and it's a unique thing and I've never really dealt with it I plunge in and do my homework. I need to do research, I need to understand you, from where you're coming from, otherwise I don't have your answer. You have it. I got to help you figure out how to get to it. So all of that was um, revolving around what I'm seeing and then writing a book, and that's right there. So special welfare, social warfare, the special welfare is aligning the types of programming and the supports that are needed the types of programming and the supports that are needed, and if not, well, social warfare is not that far away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, touche 100%.
Speaker 2:So I wanted to ask you, tom, yeah, so like in Canada, we have how can I say it? Not stipulations, but you basically said like when you had got honorably discharged from the military, they essentially tried to wash their hands of you per se. Right, canada? I know from personal experience, but also through my knowledge that I've gained over my years when I was in active addiction, they legally are obligated to offer me some form of help before, be it treatment, be it counseling, anything. They can't just say like these are your issues, you have to go. They can't do that. They have to offer you any form of help so that they cover their own ass before they they let you go, any form of help so that they cover their own ass before they they let you go.
Speaker 2:So my company offered me help in a substantial way, but I know they've dealt with other people and offered them help and they've declined help. And the moment they declined help they they're not obligated to to keep them employed there anymore. So is there anything similar like that in the States? I mean, obviously, when you had gone through that situation, it was quite a few years ago in comparison to mine, but do you guys have that type of um thing implemented in regards to companies, like if you work for a company like, are they allowed to just like wash their hands of you say we want nothing to do with you?
Speaker 2:yes really yeah.
Speaker 4:That's the um, you know not too much history, but you go back to 74, the Nixon administration. He's the one that made the beginning of the drug problem because it was in the Vietnam war and it was coming back to America and it was freaking people out. So he looked to address it. But he addressed it in two avenues. One was law enforcement, the other was recovery. There was a budget that was like 50-50 in 74 that today it doesn't exist. Follow the money. Where's the money? Look at the money and understand why.
Speaker 4:You're looking at homelessness, addiction, all of these things they're tied together and at this stage, being a recovering addict and alcoholic, I cannot remove it.
Speaker 4:It's part of who I am. But at the same time, my focus is not working with recovery. I'm dealing with adolescent America, young adult America, who I'm looking at seeing are being left to their own devices, without the support system, without the programming, with all the situations. The safety net under them so that when you fail, there's somebody there or something there to pick you up doesn't exist right now, and the book that was written was so that I can have a conversation for adolescents I shared earlier. I'm dressed like this for a reason Right now I'm interviewing and I'm interviewing with America's youth. I'm looking to become an advocate for them, to have the conversation that nobody wants to have, and I'm beginning and so grateful to you guys because you're allowing me to be heard out there and from my own personal recovery, my spirituality, my belief in a power greater than if I align my truth, my words, my being, my way of expressing myself as absolutely honorable and truthful.
Speaker 3:that's what the world will feel from me and that the world will move things out of the way to allow it to find me, as long as I stay true to myself yes and anthony touches on that all the time too about, you know, coming down to people's level and just staying true because, like when he goes and sees people in meetings, you know, he brings down to the level and he, he's, he's raw with them, he's real and that's what we are right. You got to be raw and that's him being authentic. Authentic, you know, and showing that it's it's okay to be vulnerable and this is who I am. Just because, yeah, I have this many the years over my belt doesn't mean I'm any different, you know, if I think I have that right, sorry to speak on you, anthony, but I think that's all good man.
Speaker 2:But yeah, like Eric saying, like my favorite thing to do when I go into treatment centers is meet them on their level.
Speaker 2:You know, like the way the way I explain it is. They see a guy come in off the street. I come in, I say I'm sober, I tell my story and then I get to leave, right, so they're in there. They're scared that it may be their first time, it may be multiple times, right. And then they look at me and they're like, well, this guy's way up here and I'm down here because I was smoking crack a week ago and the first thing I do is I go in there and I tell a story about the really fucked up stuff that I used to do when I was in active addiction.
Speaker 2:It's like, hey, man, this is who I am, but here's what I did to not do these things anymore. So I've really grasped on to the idea of meeting people on their level, understanding where they're at and bringing myself to their level, understanding where they're at and bringing myself to their level. And it's not necessarily down, but bringing myself to their level to meet them wherever they're at, so that I can, they can feel a level of safety with me and understanding with me to be able to be vulnerable enough to have those types of conversations. And I feel like that's that's a very important thing to do and you can almost see it in people's faces when, when you're when you're talking to people about stuff like that's, that's a very important thing to do. And you can almost see it in people's faces when you're when you're talking to people about stuff like that, and even even on the show, like even with laverne, like stuff he was talking about last night or last night.
Speaker 2:Jesus, it's been a long week. Last week, like there was things he was saying that I could relate to and I didn't even acknowledge them during the show, and just like inside I'm like, oh my god, man, like I get it. And like he had even said at one point like he was a lot, like he was law enforcement and he met a gentleman who he had crossed paths with paths with prior, and then they had met decades later and the one he had become a police officer and the other gentleman had become a drug addict. They both suffered from the same issues, they had went through the same thing, but they had different ways to cope with those those problems, you know, and it's just like, yeah, yeah, meeting people on their level, man, it is like a thing that like I'm really, it's a, it's something that I'm trying to be more aware of when I'm having conversations with your ear and that's what I think.
Speaker 3:That's what that you you also do, tom, just because you know you're talking about. You know about your addiction and what happened. You're honest with everything and you're bringing anything out and it's it's meeting a lot of other people. That's on. That's on your level and and on their level, because you know, maybe someone else there, one of our listeners, is dealing with that, you know. So it's all about. You know, like we said, being true to yourself, because if you're not true to yourself, you're just going to surround yourself with lies and all this and this, this bad jujus, I guess you could say you know?
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know you said the key word, too, is vulnerable. Yeah, you know you said the key word to is vulnerable. You know you cannot show vulnerability, that's. You know what. There is a time and a place. We all know that. Yes, you do, but for the majority of time you need not. You don't look down on people. You don't. That's right.
Speaker 4:believe yourself to be, better than somebody else, and what it is is in that vulnerability you actually are more open to learning than at any other time when I know I'm not listening to you. I know well, no, you don't know it comes down to humility, vulnerability.
Speaker 4:These are the. These were the gifts that I got when I came through, when I had to be this rock solid. It was called rootin tootin shootin. Rootin tootin shootin. Well, how did that go? Rootin tootin shoot', double cap, crimpin' frog man. No sky too high, no sea too deep, no, done it hog style, dog style, just about any style. Drove the big Navy trucks, the two-bys, the four-bys, the six-bys, the big mothers, and bend in the middle and go shh, shh, shh. And if you don't like my face, bring hell.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh yeah tom's on your spinning bars yeah, is that that the navy seal? Um, they're like yeah, okay, because I, who was it that I saw? I think I was watching a video, I think, with david goggins and his his story and, uh, I think he, that's where I got it, that's where I recognized that and I was like yes, yes, yes yes that's awesome, so wicked let me uh, tom, I got.
Speaker 1:I kind of want to rewind a little bit on the backstory of you. You know when you let, let's, let's, let's, look at you outside of butts. You know you go through the SEAL training. You know we see a lot like us in Canada we don't have the Navy SEALs like that and we always, like he just said, goggins and you see these videos of butts training how intense it is. And you know, being a Navy SEAL in general, I can imagine the steps to become one Best of the best, exactly the hard work you got to get in.
Speaker 1:But kind of talk us through kind of where you were Like Tom, you're a Navy SEAL now and before you were removed from the military, before you were removed from the military, like where were you at in your life as a US Navy SEAL where you decided you know, I'm going to start dipping into the drugs and the alcohol. And you know because when we look at, especially from the outside, as a Navy SEAL, you don't think that they would even smoke a cigarette. You don't think. You know that you think they doing 1,000 push-ups a day, every day. You know what I mean Like top tier. But then you have someone who was a Navy SEAL and now you're doing drugs. So what we're trying to talk is like going from military training, going from military training on point to slowly hitting a downward spiral, if you will.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, there's also a piece that needs to be alongside. As a Navy SEAL I had a job and my job was hospital corpsman. So I was the medic, which means that I was responsible for the medical and mental health of everybody. That was in like a platoon. If I was part of a platoon, when I was back at command I'd be in sick bay and I would do sick call and take care of folks. So that job there. When it came to doing a urinalysis, I got the phone call, I got the bottles ready and I gave everybody a heads up. It's coming. So that was happening years ago. This is during my time. 79 to 88 was that timeframe of what I'm speaking of and what it came down to is my addiction started. Well, my experimentation started at 14. And by 15, I was an addict and I didn't know that. But I brought into the military with me my addiction.
Speaker 4:I didn't find my addiction in the military and, if anything, by the time I was at the end of my career, I was in horrible shape Because I had been there long enough. I had a reputation that I was able to uphold. I made no mistakes until the end and then, at the very end, I fell asleep and woke up three days later in the military. That's UA unauthorized absence and that's where they finally held me down and took the blood test and the urine test and it all came out and that's how it ended. So in the beginning, um I was in the time where vietnam had just ended in the military was not what you look at today. It was.
Speaker 4:it was um in shambles yeah so we could do that, we could party it, and that's part of the allure of the seal. You know drinking. You actually had to have that ability Because if you didn't, you were kind of sequestered away. You know, you were in the, you were part of everything, but as we gelled together, if you couldn't drink you didn't gel with the vast majority.
Speaker 3:And the vast majority.
Speaker 4:out of that vast majority, what is it? Two thirds can stop, the other thirds like me, and you know what? You're just eventually going to get caught.
Speaker 3:So that's it. Did you find that, like the the deeper and more training that you went, like when you're in the seals, that it was more pressure and it it made you like drink a little bit more, would you? Would you say that it pushed it? Or do you think that it was just this, this growing entity that just was sucked on to you since you were 14, like you said, and it just finally just let, let, let go yeah.
Speaker 4:so here's the thing um, this is my personal belief. Um, okay, you don't make a navy seal, you're born SEAL and you happen to get the opportunity. So in discussing that, the crazier, the more I wanted to be the first one doing it. So it wasn't that kind of pressure. What it was was spending the weekend and then on Monday going in knowing that you might have to do a piss test. There's the anxiety and the pressure. Oh man, and why am I doing this? Why am I jeopardizing my career? And I'm an addict? Because I have to, and so it wasn't what I was doing. It was the party, end of it, that was doing me, that I knew was eventually going to get caught, which created anxiety, the depression, all of it as it did, would you say you're a?
Speaker 4:high functioning addict through that time.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, sorry, I cut out there, okay, absolutely. Oh yeah, sorry, I cut out there Okay.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. I was high-functioning all the way until I started at 20. At 26, I was still there, 27, 28, and I was 29 and was released. So the last two years it just fell apart. The first six years I was functioning, no problem. I was able to regulate it. I was able to deploy and not do it, come back and do it to extreme and back and forth to where it all bled in and it became a career ender.
Speaker 3:Well, since we're on the military subject here, how did your experience in there influence the design and goals of your honor bound academy?
Speaker 4:It's the foundation.
Speaker 4:There's pieces to it. Yeah, I went back as a contractor for the Department of Defense and I was called what's a military family life consultant and because of my background, I was allocated specifically to Special Operations Command. So I worked with the Army Special Forces, the Navy Special Forces, the Marine Corps Special Forces and the Air Force Special Forces and I was able to see all of them and how different we all are in how we address whatever the issue is. We can be merged, pulled apart singularities. You have specific talents and abilities but you have integrated ones. And so that piece was when I put together the bottom, the foundation of the Honorbound Academy. I had looked at all the branches and how they did theirs. So it was a mixed match of not just the SEAL buds but what you had with the Green Berets and what you had with Rangers, same thing with the Air Force's PJs.
Speaker 4:I took pieces and brought it all together and then again I went back down to academia because I needed to have them wash it clean of military, because you are becoming a warrior and they're transitioning. So it is part of, but not the whole piece and it's uniquely created. And at this stage this is the next attempt because I got back up because I couldn't get funded that this may be the one because I left it in the book to say that I went with explaining what 10 different honor bound academies would look like. You put one in Mississippi, you put one in New York, put one in Texas, you put one in Washington. They're all different but they're the same and with that ability to have them in all of those places, there's a what was I? Um? Oh, I lost my thought.
Speaker 3:That's okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, it was. Oh how okay there it was. Oh how okay there it is. Came back um, I utilized bringing together four foundations or four pillars. One was one of the wealthiest men in america, one was a native american tribe, the other was, uh, the formatting of a special forces. And then I went um to jr tolkien, put out the lord of the rings and he's got all of these various things and I liked reading and seeing the, the, the different um places where the dwarfs lived in their kingdoms, and it explained these wonderful like castles or whatnot. Well, I don't want to just put you in a building and have it look four walls and I'm going to build a chalet and put you in it and surround you with Native Americans and have one of the wealthiest individuals being the patron of that program. So with that said, I name names. I said Bill Gates and a number of other individuals. So that's in the book. If it goes and it becomes and he reads it, you definitely can figure out how to get a hold of me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it'll be in our description, definitely.
Speaker 4:And this is me doing what I can do, putting it out in the energy of all of what we're sharing and letting the world see what it's going to do with it.
Speaker 3:Exactly, and this is what we're here for, and this is what we're trying to do to help people and hopefully someone grabs it and it turns into a beautiful thing for you.
Speaker 1:And I have another quick question for you there. We were talking about it earlier in the show about perspective and how you know when people think that they fail, when really it's an opportunity. When you look back at being discharged as a US Navy SEAL to now, how do you look at that? Looking back to where your life is now? Because if it wasn't for that, you probably wouldn't have done this, you wouldn't have done that. So do you look at that as a blessing?
Speaker 4:I'm being removed as a us navy seal good question oh, absolutely, because you know what in that question you you keep zeroing in on that and I I am drawn to that as such an amazing thing, because if I don't get busted and discharged at 29, I don't end up in a recovery facility.
Speaker 4:If I don't find a way to understand how to find sobriety and I don't go with adolescence, I never find purpose and meaning. I am at this stage. The relapse that I had five years ago was so needed because I was lying to myself and the greater power or energy or whatever brought it to a head and I fell again, and I fell horribly this time, to the degree that I had never before thought suicidal thoughts. So in having that experience, today I work so much better with my clients because I know how to talk about suicide. I know how to be able to address it in a way that it's non-threatening, because I had it. Had it not been for that, I'm not as good as I am right now. So your point is every failure had to happen because I wasn't about to stop and change directions because I'm not that smart. So thank you for that question and I hope I answered it.
Speaker 2:That was a great answer. I have a question kind of to touch on that, tom. So, being in your field of work, there's obviously an educational background in doing what you have to do correct, yeah, but also knowing the stuff that we've talked about prior to being on the show, about recovery and stuff like that and lived experience.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What do you find you utilize more when you're working, not necessarily specifically with adolescents, but like in general, like. Do you use more of your like? I'm sure they both come into play quite a bit, but do you find your educational background gets utilized more, or your lived experience?
Speaker 4:So here's the thing is. You know, see how I'm dressed from my waist up to half sleeves. I'm tattooed front and back. So, you might not see that right now, but I'm looking at you guys, but you see you're talking with kids. You gotta be a kid. He don't want to hear about your education, he want to know about your tattoos and as soon as I got them asking about my tattoos, then the relationship of give and take starts and yeah you stay true to your word and kids will come back.
Speaker 4:I ran a boys, boys and girls club for four years. Started with 59 kids. Four years later I had 440 kids, and that was because, I was the biggest kid in the house. I peed in all four corners. You could not. I was the big brother. I ain't your daddy. And it was the most wonderful experience that taught me how to work with kids. Do not let your hair down, tattoos fly and be who you are.
Speaker 3:And that's what we were talking about earlier is coming onto the level.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and when the question comes up up I can go deep on giving you an analytical, psychological, social paradigm changing aspect of how I would do cognitive behavioral therapy. You see what I'm saying? That's all yeah all that it is. Is you not knowing what I'm doing and I'm getting you to do what I want you to do without you knowing that I'm doing that and you think you're in control? You're here.
Speaker 3:Touché, sir, I got two questions and this is probably everybody wants to know this question. Well it's a two-part question and I bet you all our listeners me definitely. I want to know this. Probably Anthony and Joey Are aliens, real.
Speaker 4:You know what here's?
Speaker 1:the piece. Let's ask a soldier.
Speaker 4:You know what? I go to bed every night and I put on Netflix. What is it? Ancient Aliens and I fall asleep to it. I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning and I turn it off. I want to believe, you know what. And a part of my elbow says that you know what ET's here. I'm going to be real and tell you that you know what I I believe what you want me to believe when it comes to that.
Speaker 2:But between us, I believe what you want me to believe when it comes to that, but between us, yeah, so you don't have any undisclosed.
Speaker 3:NDAs that you signed years ago that are still kind of active Area 52.
Speaker 2:Not Area 51.
Speaker 4:No I was not privy to that, Although watching Ancient Aliens wow, there's a lot of folks that did.
Speaker 3:I'm like okay, but mine is a lot, I'm like okay, but mine never crossed my mind. Okay, so now to the real question. You write about encountering an impenetrable wall during your journey. Can you tell us more about that experience and how you overcame it?
Speaker 4:Yeah, this was the last one. For the last 10 years I've been to boardrooms, I've been introduced to breakfasts, I have sat with people who had the kind of money that I was asking for, and it's spare change to them, and it's spare change to them, and at each turn, having presented it and I've got a brochure, that is, you know what, all the research in the brochure that I can hand you to explain right down to having how the finances are so that I can run this, and nobody saw the vision. And if it was me trying to get something for me, okay, I can live with that. But my clientele are adolescent, young adults trying to figure out this world that we as adults are just absolutely not paying attention to and leaving them what? So I am frustrated, I am angry, I want to get, even because I can write a book and I could have worded it like so-and-so, didn't give me this.
Speaker 4:And this happened. And the bottom line is I'm reaching out to the 10 wealthiest men again. Because this is so important to me, because of my desire to give back to the young people that saved my life, I will never quit, I will never give up, I will never give in and I will continue on, and that's what this is, that impregnable wall was. You didn't give me the money, but I'm coming again here yeah, good, good.
Speaker 1:I got one last question for you, tom. Do you live with any regrets?
Speaker 4:oh good, one yeah yeah, yeah, um, yeah, um. Do you want it? If you're okay to, you're okay to hear and to share that.
Speaker 4:No, you know, the regret would, if anything, have been to finish the career correctly 20 years, navy SEAL, retire. I know that that, as I have aged, has become less and less of a feeling of that, but I would have liked to end it as an E9, with 23, 24 years, with all the experiences, because when I got out, the military was changing into something that was even crazier than when I was there, and so I'm sorry, tom, I gotta stop you right there.
Speaker 3:I don't think that's a regret, because look where you are today and look that you're helping youth and if you didn't say you did go through that and do all that, well, you may not be here, and you may not be here and you may not have helped the youth that you helped today. So me, personally.
Speaker 1:I have no argument with that then and you wouldn't have written the two books sitting behind you Exactly. And you're hitting walls, just like I'm hitting a wall right now in other areas of my life but the way that we are and the tools that we use, you know, like we said at the beginning of the show, it's okay to take a knee, it's being self-aware and the perspective of what you put on that situation right, and I, you know, I was not in your shoes as a Navy SEAL and I think that would be badass and I would love that. Yeah, envy, even Regardless of sorry, I should say that was all in the past and you did those things at that time because that's what you wanted to do, yeah, and you can't change that. Just like we say things in a relationship or to people we didn't mean, but at that time that's what you wanted to do, and you can't change that. Just like we say things in a relationship or to people we didn't mean, but at that time that's what you wanted to say. You can't change that.
Speaker 1:So now, as you're looking back, is you know that perspective right? And instead of incarcerating yourself with it in your mind, right, using that as your power and looking at, like Eric just said is look at the people you are helping, look at the kids. The world needs more people like you. Thank you, you know, definitely, a million percent. You know, and if it wasn't for me trying to kill myself or Eric's fiancé passing away to go through these kinds of hardships, we wouldn't be sitting here tonight. If it wasn't for the last girl that broke my heart, if it wasn't for you know what I mean, even when you look back at the relationships and even the jobs like you had, or a career, yeah, but if it wasn't for that, you wouldn't be the person you are today. So it's all about how you look at it with your perspective, right?
Speaker 1:So there shouldn't be and it isn't guilt, like Eric said, is that was the universe telling you you're not supposed to be a navy seal yeah you are supposed to be an advocate for other people and saving their lives and chain and helping that next part, that one extra person trying to change somebody's world, yeah, and give back. And just like we started this show, the, the whole reason me and eric at the beginning started this was we just wanted to help and save one person, that's it. And now, you know, fast forward over a year and this is far surpassed where we even thought. We just do this because we want to help, because we give a shit yeah right and now I think we've saved four people's lives literally from committing suicide.
Speaker 1:And we're in these countries, blah, blah, blah and. But if it wasn't for those heartbreaks, the suicide attempts and all these traumas, from child abuse to losing family members, it wouldn't have put us in this seat, just like it's not. It wouldn't have put us in this seat just like it's not. It wouldn't have put you in that seat because the universe had a plan for you and that was to tell you that you needed to fuck that up, because that was not your path, that was not your career. Your career was to be educated and get degrees and write those books, sitting behind you, and help young people and be better people in this world, because this world is fucked and we need better people in this world.
Speaker 1:So I want to take my hat off to you personally and the life that you lived and what you had to overcome. You're an inspiration and, that being said, I would love for you lived and what you had to overcome. You're an inspiration and and, uh, that being said, I would love for you and we would, for give you this minute to let everybody know where you are on social media, shout out your book, both of them. Put it up to the screen. Tell everybody what that's called, where they can find it.
Speaker 3:Even plug your uh publisher too, man, where they can find it. Even plug your uh publisher too. I mean for her for reaching out. Thank you, jasmine too. So feel free to do that too. We'd love all that so it started here.
Speaker 4:This was the first one. I was in the horn of africa and it came about. My life story from beginning till, oh, the 50s somewhere in there, and then this this is the one that was just created Special Welfare, Social Warfare, Adolescence to Adulthood a guidebook. I have a program that I'm seeking to create to bring into the real world, to offer it to specifically ages 18, 19, and 20. And I do wish to clarify right now, which is incredibly important is this is built with the masculine in all of its words, but at the very end. I share that.
Speaker 4:I also have a Rolodex with a title that says Feminine Mystique, because the ladies you have the need for a program such as this, just as the young men do it masculine, feminine, and it is right now what I am seeking to get funding for, so that I can become what is called an adolescent combat diplomat.
Speaker 4:That's in the writing here, and adolescence comes from my work with adolescents, Combat comes from my military career and the diplomat is I have a credential that says I am a board-certified diplomat in clinical social work, so I've got all the bells and whistles and as a title adolescent combat diplomat I'm seeking to apply for the job of advocacy for all of America's youth. That's what I'm here for. My website is thehonorboundacademyorg. You will find all the information on my website, including all the platforms that I'm on, and please reach out, come and see me start a conversation and let me know what you're thinking. And to you three gentlemen you are heartfelt for the rest of my life because you've given me the first opportunity to be on air to say this message, and I thank you for it.
Speaker 1:Oh, we loved having you on here. We thank you more than you know.
Speaker 3:And what you're doing with the youth too, man, is just. It needs to be done. That's where it starts, right as childhood. That's where it starts, and we have to change the mindsets and help these kids grow up. I didn't have it, a lot of us didn't have it, but thank God you're here and you're helping these kids grow up. I didn't have it, a lot of us didn't have it, but thank god you're here and you're you're helping these kids so I mean it's amazing and thank you so much for for being vulnerable to and sharing your story.
Speaker 2:Like, like, we know the books are pretty important, but we really appreciate you coming on and like answering our questions about you, um, as well, and like how, what made you you, yeah and and sorry, what was the term you used? Um adolescent combat diplomat? The way you described that was fucking flawless, my friend that's such a cool yeah, cool thing.
Speaker 4:Amazing. That's amazing and because that's the first time I've worded it, it's not been said anywhere else and I was trying to get it right.
Speaker 2:Well, you nailed it, man. And as you were saying that too, I just thought of the question that Joey had asked you about any regrets, and you said about how you got discharged, or whatever. But that's part of it, but realistically after you shared that nah. Yeah, you're right, that's part of being an adolescent combat diplomat, my friend, and that's yeah man yeah yeah yeah, and I mean this you're, you're.
Speaker 4:I just want to let you know you're part of the raw minds family here, so yes, and we'd like for you to come back all the abilities to maintain contact with you, three so Definitely, please If you're ever down the road.
Speaker 1:You got some youth that will come down for a weekend and be able to chat with some of your youth. We were there and we would love to do something like that in the future. That's our goal as well, is to be able to travel, talk to schools, talk to kids. We'll keep in touch, tom, and we'll promote you. And, and you know, uh, I ordered your other book, actually the second one, uh, right before we started the show. Okay, and so, uh, uh, you're, you're a good man, tom. You keep doing what you're doing, my friend.
Speaker 1:Thank you, anthonyony, you want to take that away we, we genuinely appreciate you, tom.
Speaker 2:Um, the other thing that I want to acknowledge which has been pretty cool too the last few episodes, is like we always bullshit for five, ten minutes at the beginning of the episode but for some wild reason, it always becomes the topic of the show.
Speaker 2:Like you know, like last week it was gratitude, and then we talked to laverne and and Laverne like ooze gratitude. And then tonight we talked to Tom, and it's about perspective and like not letting your things hold you down. You know, like the universe just has a weird way of making things the way, exactly the way that they should be. So, tom, we like, from all of us at raw minds here, from us three and our listeners, like we, we genuinely appreciate you coming on. Um, we will absolutely have you back. Um, yes, please, yes, yes, this was an amazing episode and it's good, and I feel like that's something that we haven't really acknowledged. That much is the adolescence. So I feel like you're going to be a staple in this network of beautiful human beings that we're we're building, um, and you're a great person to have in our repertoire.
Speaker 3:So thank you again uh, you just gave me an idea. There, tony, I mean anthony, sorry, as tony call me, whatever you want but I think, that's. That's a great idea. Actually, we could probably do an episode just on that, and we could have Tom come back and have his opinion on that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:So next week we have to touch base, but I'm pretty sure we have a guest on local to you, gentlemen, over in Vancouver if I'm not mistaken who has quite an interesting upbringing and quite a story and something I'm looking to learn a lot more about, which is stem cell research Pretty crazy, pretty crazy story. So stay tuned for that pretty crazy, pretty crazy story, um, so stay tuned for that and for all the listeners. Like I said last week, and like I said I'll say again this week, like tom reached out to us and we got tom in the show within a matter of a month, like, if you have an amazing story, if you have things that you're doing in your life that's going to change the lives of others, we would love to have you on. We are an open platform to share your experience and share the tools that you have to overcome the things that you've overcome and help others overcome the things that they're dealing with too.
Speaker 2:So if you want to hit us up, reach out to us on email at rawmindspodcastgmailcom. Hit us up on social media. We're on TikTok, instagram and Facebook at Raw Minds Podcast, and if you want to chat with any of us, just hit us up. We all have our own our own, uh personal tech talk accounts to raw minds Eric. Raw minds Joey, raw minds Anthony, and, while you're at it, when you're giving us a listen. Please don't hesitate to leave us a review. It means a lot to us and it'll help us kind of get out there more out there more um.
Speaker 3:Thank you again, tom.
Speaker 2:Thank you for being a part of this. Thank you for joining the family.
Speaker 3:Thank you for everybody listening.
Speaker 1:Have a great appreciate everybody. Thank you, tom. We'll see you next time.
