Raw Minds
Welcome to Raw Minds, the podcast where we explore the challenges and triumphs of men's mental health, single fatherhood, and daily life experiences. In each episode, we dive deep into the issues that go on in men's minds, sharing personal stories and insights that can help you better understand yourself and the world around you. Whether you're a single dad, dealing with mental health challenges, or simply looking for inspiration and guidance, this podcast is for you. So, sit back, relax, and join us on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
Raw Minds
Raw Minds S2 Ep. 3 – Anger & Aggression: Unlocking the Power Behind the Rage
Anger is a powerful emotion that can shape our lives in profound ways. Have you ever wondered what lies beneath the surface of uncontrollable rage? Today on Raw Minds, Anthony, Joey, and Erick unravel the complexities of anger, starting with Anthony’s personal revelation on how his past court issues regarding his children trigger him. By flipping the script from asking "what's wrong with them?" to "what happened to them?", we uncover the hidden traumas that fuel these intense emotions and discuss how our generational history of using anger as a tool for control has affected modern men.
As our conversation deepens, we focus on understanding how anger and stress intertwine, impacting not just mental but also physical health. From heart damage to debilitating anxiety, the toll of unresolved anger is staggering. We share relatable anecdotes about explosive reactions and the importance of therapy and self-awareness. Techniques for releasing anger—whether through physical activities, therapy, or support groups—are explored, offering listeners practical steps to manage their emotions and improve their well-being.
Lastly, the episode shifts to the significance of gratitude and happiness in mitigating anger. Ever felt a rush of road rage only to laugh at a ridiculous viral video moments later? We discuss these fleeting yet transformative experiences and how changing our focus can foster contentment. By appreciating life's positive aspects and learning to set boundaries, we can navigate societal expectations and personal triggers more effectively. Join us for another raw and enlightening episode, and find out how to turn your anger into a catalyst for personal growth and healthier relationships.
yeah, yeah, yeah. We're back once again to the show that shatters the silence on men's mental health. We are unedited, unfiltered.
Speaker 2:And, as always, we are going raw. I'm Anthony.
Speaker 3:And my name is Joey and I'm Eric and we're your hosts. And welcome to Raw Minds, yeah buddy Season two Take three.
Speaker 1:Anthony, anthony, anthony, fuck, yeah, yeah, buddy, season two, take three. Anthony. Anthony is the cream filling to this oreo anthony needs to buy a more comfortable fucking chair if I'm gonna sit here for an hour every monday, no kidding man oh shit, hey, dude, I sat in one of my old chairs, dude, I was fucking driving me nuts and I sat here one night and I couldn't even stand up after Amazon delivered next day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know Way better.
Speaker 1:Now I just rock in my chair.
Speaker 2:I know you guys look so comfortable and I'm just here all like tense and shit.
Speaker 3:But I got my feet up. I'm relaxing man, you know you gotta be healthy dude, yeah, I gotta be chilling, chill in what do? You think man aggression, aggression and anger, he's angry angry man. I don't know what you're talking about. I've never been angry. Is that what we're?
Speaker 1:talking about tonight just people that are really mad, and why yeah?
Speaker 2:I guess a bunch of fucking kyle's punching holes and drywall and drinking monsters yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3:I love it. Yeah, pretty much, man, uh, I think we've all, we've all been angry at some time in our life.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean definitely, and it's affected people so I think it's a good, uh, good topic to talk about, definitely yeah, man, I got a whole list of shit that I used to be like and a lot of good stuff that I learned a lot of tools from when I was in uh treatment. Back in 2021, too, that we can touch on. For sure, man, let's do it, man fire away, buddy.
Speaker 1:Why don't you start it off?
Speaker 3:Well, let me start by asking you guys some questions. Man, yeah, what would you say one of your lowest points in like when you're angry, like what brought out, like so much anger in you?
Speaker 1:The triggers.
Speaker 3:Yeah, your trigger.
Speaker 1:Some people don't even know what their triggers really are, because it definitely a lot. Mostly, your anger, uh, like explosive anger especially, isn't a response at the present moment. It's. It's stems from traumas in your life and childhood shit, right, yeah, and that's why people are so quick to snap and majority of the time, like I said, is not what's being said at that moment at you or what was done. Sure, it might be a little whatever, but you have taken it way above and farther than it really should be, because you've been holding on to shit inside for so long and whoever pissed you off or whatever situation, uh, set you off. Um, what is makes you, like I said, take it way farther and really causes you to explode.
Speaker 1:Like that is a lot of self uh, self, uh, what's the word? I'm looking for pain. It's basically a lot of pain, even like push down, pain that that person has never dealt with, you know, and and that that's a big thing with. You know, like all the shit that we've been through and what we talk about is talking about these things, so this shit doesn't happen, like these kinds of people that blow up with explosive anger and punching the holes in the walls and flipping tables and punching people and all this. You know aggressive, abusive behavior. You know that that's their breaking points to all the shit that they've been bearing that they never dealt with. Yeah right, so all these little triggers are just setting them off like fireworks.
Speaker 1:But you know, this goes back to this book I read let me talk about it last year, maybe briefly, but when people go through these things and you see people act like that, your first reaction and first thought of if I seen a guy smashing a window, punching holes in the walls, everyone the first thing they're going to think is what the fuck is wrong, like what.
Speaker 1:What's wrong with that guy? Yeah, what's his problem? Yeah Right, but the one book that I read, it was called what's happened to you? Is people won't look at someone like that and ask what happened to them, rather than what's wrong with them. Yeah, right for someone to act like that and some for these fucked up things that people do and that we don't agree with a lot of it, obviously, but there's something there that happened. Something happened to these people that was either traumatizing, abusive as a child what abandonment issues, all these things that we all dealt with or in some level has built up to make this person or those people act the way that they act and with that explosive anger, and they don't know how to control it so well.
Speaker 3:Well, back to my question though like, what made you get to that point with your like explosive, like what? What kind of anger would have to bring that out in you?
Speaker 1:for me when I look back.
Speaker 1:I'm not. I'm usually well, you know, for the people that do know me I'm pretty chill. I'm not an explosive, angry guy. I am more of a internal okay and I usually keep it to myself. However, I never used to be like that when I was younger and I think that a lot of this also comes with maturity and age as well, on learning how to deal with certain situations as you get older and blah, blah, blah, definitely.
Speaker 1:But the things that, even to this day, I guarantee would put me over the edge is my children, and I'm not saying what they do, but, like I had a lot of issues in the past with courts and my ex exes and fighting for my children and all that. And so when you're taking a direct shot at my parenting and all I'm trying to do is be there and be a good parent, but you're like, for example, years ago, you know they're she's saying this, this, this and all lies, and everyone knows it's a lie. But to the judge, to try to make herself look better, to make me look bad, dude, like explosive, because you know, and I didn't know how to regulate it at the time, because all I was trying to do was be civil. Be there, here's your money, let me see my kid, and then instead it's this, this. There's like a lot of men go with these custody battles or dealing with, so for me that was my. That's the big one. For me is attacking my parenting or seeing my children.
Speaker 2:So yeah definitely yeah, you know, what's funny is like I had therapy on on on Saturday and, uh, I'll just touch on the therapy and then I'll go into to answer your question, eric. So I learned a lot on on Saturday and therapy kind of like the, the anger that I'm dealing with right now, because I am the explosive angry person dude I, it's fucked man. I'll shut off emotions, I don't care what I say, I don't care what I do, it just comes out and when I run out of gas, I run out of gas, come back to and it's like what the fuck just happened. So I was dealing with some situations, um, in therapy and my, my therapist had kind of just said to me, like you know, like obviously dealing with it with anger is not the optimal way to deal with it, but what it is is it's a, it's an emotional response to something that I feel is threatening a part of me, and that part of me that it's threatening is like my, my want to be loved. So what happens is is this part of me that comes out, is this part that wants to defend and protect me? And the only way that I've I've used that outlet is through anger. That's what I'm dealing with right now? Um, but I'll just go into to answer your question. Like what triggered it.
Speaker 2:So when I went to treatment back in 2021, we used to do like we'd have classes every fucking day, man, and we do like clinical emotion, clinical boundaries, clinical anger. So classes on how to set healthy boundaries, how to deal with your emotions, and one to deal with anger. And every time we had the anger class, man, I left that class like raging fucking mad every time. And I remember one time my, my one counselor was teaching the class and after the class I went up to him out and we were outside having to smoke after and I went up to him and I'm like, buddy, I'm sorry, but your class is a fucking joke. Man, he's like what do you mean? Like dude, like you're teaching a class on anger, and I leave more angry than I did before. I was like, uh, before I fucking got there, like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:So then I went and sat with my, my other therapist and God love this woman, she's, hands down, the best therapist I've ever had. And uh, she's like so I heard you had a little issue in your anger class the other day. I'm like, yeah, it's fucking stupid. Like I leave more mad than I was before I got there. She's like so your, your expectation wasn't met? I'm like, well, no, I guess not. She's like, would you say that you use anger as a sense of control? And when she said that, I'm like, holy fuck. Like that's what I did with my kids mom, when shit wasn't going my way and I learned it through work. Like when I lived in alberta I had a. He was the best boss I ever had man, but when this dude lost his shit, he would never attack you as a person. He would always attack your work. And like he would be sure to let you know that like you're better than what you're putting out right. Like he didn't call me an idiot.
Speaker 2:He didn't call me a piece of shit. It was just like man, like what? Like, what the fuck is this? And he would scream and yell and I saw the level of control that he would maintain utilizing anger in that way. So I picked that up when I was like 19 years old and I used it all the way up until I was almost 30.
Speaker 2:So in any situation if it wasn't going my way, I would try to use anger as a way to regain control of the situation, not realizing at the time that it did the complete fucking opposite. Because I figured if I instilled fear in people, they would listen to me and I was explosive and looking back, man, like there was times like when I was an active addiction man. My kids knew, and my kids mom knew, that if I came home from work and I had a nap, don't fucking talk to me for an hour after I wake up, because if you talk to me like I'm gonna fucking lose my mind, like I am the explosive type. There was never this slow build-up. It was like hold it in, hold it in and just boom like and I couldn't hold it very long and it just like came out like there's. No, I had no self-control over that emotional response, because that's what. What anger is is an emotional response.
Speaker 2:It's a hundred percent for me it's like a reaction to something that you're not, you're not okay with, and I just from seeing it with the men in my life, that's the only way that I responded to it was oh shit, something's wrong. Respect this person, but not everybody in life sees it that way and it's not a good way to do it, man like, especially in this day and age. It was cool when our parents were young, but not anymore, right? We're not in the baby boomer phase anymore, so yeah, you pretty you.
Speaker 3:You pretty much used um your anger then to put fear into people so they would do do stuff that you wanted to instill fear, maintain control and when my expectations weren't met, that's well, my big three if you look at the past and like um, like way back, that's what, that's what countries used to do. Right is put fear into you know, other countries go attack, do all that in order to gain control. So it's not just you, I mean, it's been passed down. I guess you could say generation by generation, by generation way before we were around.
Speaker 3:Right, this is, I'm talking like the 80 days and whatever they're, they're called, you know. So I mean, it's just, it's, it's realistically. I say that humans are just learning how to be nice, you know, it's, it really is like you think about it. Way back in the day, man cavemen, bang your, your, your woman over the head with a club and drag her back into the cave.
Speaker 2:You know, what I mean. Calm down, bitch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, but I mean realistically, like we are just learning to like be nice yep some people just aren't there yet, I guess, well, a lot of people.
Speaker 3:I mean, it took me to having a kid in order to change my whole life. You know, if anything, I had a huge anger problem. I used to punch uh holes in my, my door all the time, I think. I told you guys, I went through like seven doors. My mom got tired of buying doors so she put a sheet of plywood at the top. She says, go ahead, punch that and by and I, I couldn't get through it. I'll tell you that was a three-quarter inch piece of plywood. You just didn't try hard enough bud come on yeah, hey, buddy, I.
Speaker 3:I got to the point where I was punching it so much that my knuckles fell.
Speaker 3:Uh, filled up with like pus and like or like water that I started headbutting it, yeah, and I started headbutting the damn thing because I just wanted to inflict pain. It was fucked, yeah. But now that I'm older I was like, what the fuck am I doing? You know what I mean? I'm breaking doors. I'm just costing my mom money. At that point in my life, you know, what I don't understand is people get mad and they smash their phones on the ground. I did that a lot. Yeah, you got to pick it up. You got to I mean, you got to get a new phone. Now you got to pull money out of your pocket and go buy a new phone. You know, the anger makes us do crazy things and then you regret it after.
Speaker 2:That's what I was. Like I was. I wasn't much for abusing people, but fucking cell phones, laptops, TVs, holes in drywall doors Like I use the shit out of inanimate objects, I fuck up anything If it didn't have a heartbeat. I was punching my fucking fist through it and but for why?
Speaker 3:right? It's for because we let we let people live rent free in our heads or we give a shit about what people say which in general. We, we don't, and I'll say that. My famous saying you're not coming to my birthday party. Why should I give a shit about what you think of me? You know, and that's the biggest thing, is we. We fight ourselves. At the end of the day, let the person say whatever he wants. Who gives a fuck about what they have to say?
Speaker 3:yeah you know, you got better things to deal with but you know it's. It's hard too because, like with with also anger and aggression, I mean mean it can stem, like Joey says, from like childhood, you know, like trauma, anything from that, to even, like you know, hating your job, you know, or you have a stress. Stress is huge, man, and then when you have stress, you have anger, and when you have anger you have stress. So it's a combined of both Right.
Speaker 2:And then exactly.
Speaker 3:So it's a combined of both right and then exactly. And then when that happens, man, you're just. You know you can get unhealthy. Your anxiety then will kick in. You know, your eating habits go down. You can have a heart attack. You know it's, it's it's you got to learn how to control your feelings. At the end of the day, right, it's hard, I mean, I fucking lose it all the time.
Speaker 1:Well, did you know that Anger is the most toxic emotion that we have and it's the only Emotion that is linked to Heart, causing heart damage and Cardiovascular risk over time?
Speaker 1:The only emotion, the only one studied and Tied to causing Physical problems to your body by holding on to that emotion that's and heart and heart, heart damage by being angry all the time and holding on to that was that big I guess because your, your, your heart rate is just pumping, I guess right, and it's just putting so much shit on it yeah, and stress look look at it like this, like a way to you know, I learned this in therapy too is, yeah, and this kind of it goes hand in hand with letting go.
Speaker 1:We always talk about letting go so you're able to bring more into your life and let go of what that person's done to you or who hurt you or whatever. Right, yeah, like there's there's different, obviously, thing letting go um, sorry, different scenarios or events that's happened to your life, that it kind of changes a little bit. Like, obviously, you know, for you, for example, your fiancee passed away right, that's, that's a little different than your best friend ripped you off and stabbed you in the back. But you're holding on to that anger compared to the loss. Right, so it's, it's a different of letting ghosts, but what I'm talking about is, uh, the anger of what someone's done to you. Like how, how could you hurt me?
Speaker 1:my best friend went behind my back and betrayed me or my, my wife slept with the neighbor and cheated on me, like that kind of anger and that hurt that we hold onto is and what I was taught or told to do. Actually, as you look at it, like you take all the things that you're just fucking angry about all the time and, like you said, living rent free in your head because it ruins your day, you're not present. All you're just fucking angry about all the time and, like you said, living rent-free in your head because it ruins your day, you're not present. All you're doing is stewing in it. You're hurt, you're angry, you're upset all day. Every day you wake up you're just vibrating and you can't believe they do this and people hold on to this because I did it. I held on to it for like a year on. What one person did until I learned to do these things and that's why we're here is to try to help with the tools and etc. Right to help other people, not hold on to these things for so for very long. Yeah, you take a cinder block or a bowling ball or something really heavy that you can carry, but really heavy and you take a piece of tape or sticky note and you write down what it is that you're so fucking angry about. Tape it on that cinder block or bowling ball and walk around for half an hour just carrying it with you and see how heavy and how much that weighs you down. And then, once you put it down, you're going to see how much your fucking arms hurting, your shoulders hurting, and then eventually you're going to start to feel better.
Speaker 1:Now, if you keep holding on to these things in your head that is causing you your anxiety, causing you to have explosive anger and snap at people who didn't deserve it and yell at your wife and your kids and have these little triggers is think of you as carrying that fucking brick or that bowling ball all day long, and that's why you're getting so angry, because you can't let it go and it's just weighing you down no matter where you go. So until you're able to put that down and release some of that through therapy, through workshops or you know whatever it is groups, men's, men's, groups, fucking, you name it anything any positive outlet that you can find to start to release that then you're not going to have that explosive anger and those triggers aren't going to set you off as bad and you'll start to be able to be a little bit more self-aware when it does come up, because you know, now you're really angry and then you get to a point where it's like you're about to punch a wall and you're just like it's not worth it. So then eventually, as you learn these tools and able to talk through this, then you'll get to a point where it'll just you'll start to shrug these things off almost where you're just like you know what. There's nothing I do about it. There's me flipping a table right now. It's going to change absolutely nothing and you will get to that point.
Speaker 1:But to get to that point is you have to go and find the counselors and find to really hit these anger issues head on, right? So you don't have to be like that. And that, especially the explosive anger, is guys smacking their wives around have to be like that. And now those and that especially the explosive anger is, you know, got guys especially smacking their wives around and and damaging their own home, like you know what I mean because they have no control, just like anthony said like if it was a object, he was smashing it, and without thought yep literally, people are like that because they have no, they can't uh, regulate their emotions.
Speaker 1:So once they're in that, just like you see red done, there goes the house. Better get out of the house, stay out of his way, don't talk to him when he wakes up.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean and yeah, so it's definitely like I said. It's also like the most toxic emotion you can have that is damaging not only to yourself, but, like I said, as an example, is carrying around that bowling ball, because that's what you're doing. Yeah, basically like tying that chain and ball around your ankle like in the olden days and then just walking around and just dragging. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Well, not just that too, there's also Well, I was just saying not just that too, there's also well, I was just saying not that also too. There's branches too, though, of anger too, right Like you got aggression, even depression.
Speaker 1:Like there's a bunch of different branches that also follow that as well. You know, and like for me I wasn't in it, like ago, like I mentioned certain things yeah, I was uh explosive, but now it would be.
Speaker 2:you know, there's also people that suppress their anger yeah, right, and they push it down most dangerous thing you can ever do, man as the suppress the anger because they're not releasing it.
Speaker 1:And there's a lot of things that come, as you know, when you suppress your anger is a lot of. You'll notice little things in people too and they don't realize is a lot of sarcasm or cynicism or passive aggressiveness. That's all from suppressed anger over or overly judgmental of others, because that's just that one right. There is a clear reflection of kind of how you're feeling about yourself, that you can go out of your way and just judge this person, talk shit, judge that person because you're not happy with who you are.
Speaker 1:You're just projecting, you're projecting, that's all you're doing, right, yeah? And then you start resenting the people you love.
Speaker 3:It's kind of like that saying one finger pointed forward, three fingers pointed back.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, when I first read that, what I said about the resenting the people you love, and that was kind of it's almost like and self-sabotaging, kind of the same thing, and when I was so angry with myself, especially in relationships, that's where I shut down, I push away. There's the sarcasm, there's the judgment of others and I start resenting the people that just wanted to love me or be there for me when really I was the fucking problem and I was judging myself more than anybody but internally, and I was judging myself more than anybody but internally and I was suppressing the hurt and the anger of all the things that I had was dealing with that had nothing to do with them, that I didn't talk about, and that's why that relationship failed. And then that's what the relationship after that failed and the one after that failed and I went through the cycle because I was suppressing my anger. I wasn't explosive, I was suppressing it for years.
Speaker 3:And in some poor bastards is going to feel all that after.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the women, like you know. They didn't deserve it and I wasn't a piece of shit where I was abusive or cheating, because I always try to be a good guy. I didn't even swear at him. But on the other side, they have needs, they want this. You're supposed to be doing this and I was neglecting it.
Speaker 1:All shutting down made it about me, not about them or us. And then I would self-sabotage because I was pushing so much anger and hurt down that I couldn't talk to them about it because I feel judged. So instead of letting it out or talking about it, I just suppressed it, and that's where my sarcasm came. That's where all this shit comes from or came from. And then, at the same time, then they're fed up because they're not getting what they need and they're out when realistic. In reality, I didn't want to break up, but I just didn't know how to deal with that anger and I suppressed it and I didn't talk about it. And then they're like I can't be with you, no, I'm out. And then I ended up breaking my heart on top of that. So I just made myself even worse. It's almost like it's a form of self-harm too.
Speaker 2:Eh, yeah, yeah, I've been working on this with my therapist too. What, what does it feel like For you? Like, what are the physical Reactions that you get when you get angry?
Speaker 3:like running what happens to our bodies, or just like in our mind like.
Speaker 2:What does it feel like in your body when you feel anger happening?
Speaker 3:oh, buddy, okay, so I'll let me just say this just the other two sundays ago, I think, I told you guys I snap, actually I know I talked to you, anthony, about it oh, yeah, my late fiance's mother called me after six months wanting money back for the portion of what her daughter paid for my dog, and it just blew me away, you know, and I finally snapped because of all the shit that you know. They blame me for her death and all this shit. Right, you can hear about in the past podcast, but anyway. So I snapped on her and I mean I haven't snapped like that, god, in years.
Speaker 3:Usually, you know, I can hold my composure fairly good now and I I tore into her and I was vibrating, like I was literally vibrating. My whole body was just like. You know, when you get the shivers, it's like that, like my whole body was just multiple shivers, over and over and over. You know, it was almost, it was definitely like adrenaline running through my, my veins. I felt like I just shotgun 40 red bulls and was ready to go, you know.
Speaker 2:What about you, joey? How about you, joey?
Speaker 1:Whenever I got like that, it was pretty close to that. But my anxiety, like it, like it shot so far through the roof. And normally I'm a pretty chill guy, but if I get to that point, just like you, vibrating, like it was like I don't know if you remember the old arcade x-men arcade growing up and there's the juggernaut yeah, he's like yeah like fucking, like literally, like fuck.
Speaker 1:I'd smash the hulk out and I would just like every vein would come out of my body and I'd be shaking violently and that feeling it's like a blank stare, like there is no. There is no way I could feel any other emotion. You could stab me in the back with, literally with a knife, and I probably I wouldn't even feel it because the adrenaline of just rage, yeah, you know what I mean, and definitely Because the adrenaline of just rage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean, yeah, definitely, but that anxiety that goes with it, like walking and like a panic attack at the same time. Where I like, I can't breathe Like this and like hyperventilating, hyperventilating. Because I'm trying and I can't like, even when you feel like that and you don't like to come trying to bring yourself down, I couldn't even do it.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what like you were saying, with your heart right, You're hyperventilating, which is your pumping blood so fast, which you can have. You know what I mean A lot of people when they're angry. This is totally true. Now that, like, like you brought this up is a lot of people have heart attacks. You know, they get so angry that they have a heart attack and then they croak, you know, or even you do stupid things. I mean it almost cost me a good portion of my life from me being angry.
Speaker 3:I was 17 years old and some. I was going to my buddy's party. It was like a couple of blocks away and but he comes downstairs and says a joke, a mama joke. Never met this guy before. I'm like, oh shit, I'll be right back. I forgot my weed, Went home, grabbed my machete, put it in my pants, came back to the party.
Speaker 3:I told buddy oh, tell buddy to come downstairs, I will smoke a dupe with him Soon. As he came outside, out of the elevator, I pulled the machete out. I ran right at him and made a really shitty decision in my life and chopped him in the back of the head. Guy, hit the ground, blood everywhere. I was like holy fuck, what did I do. I ran home Soon. As I got home I told my mom I did something really bad and the cops were on their way. You know, luckily I got dropped down to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
Speaker 3:But even then, man, you know, and do I regret it? No, because it put me where I am today. But do I feel bad for that person and me hurting them? Definitely. Do you know? Would I do it again? No, but I mean just on anger and something stupid, a mama joke. I never met this guy and I felt like he was disrespecting me. And just on something stupid, I take a machete and chop this guy and I luckily he lived like I could have fucking lost everything. You know, and it's just we, we, we make these stupid mistakes running on our emotions. When we have to step back, smell the roses, figure out, cooler heads prevail. And you know, every time, every time I say that, you know it's true, you know it's true, you have to step back, you have to see the whole whole situation and you, you think more clearly because, like when you're, when you're trying to argue, and your anger it's just like blinders, like a horse, you know, and you just see, see red and all you can focus on is that.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is that's bugging you yeah, and then you carry that and hold on to that for days, weeks, weeks, months, especially if something that's severe, that someone's done to you or betrayed you or hurt you, right, just like I said, the bowling ball or the brick, it's the same thing. But you're carrying that around in your head and you can't think of anything else but how heavy this fucking bowling ball is, dragging this around with this ball and chain Same shit. That's what you're doing when you're carrying around all this anger in your, in your mind and you can't let it go. Yeah, and you're holding on to it and then it starts to pour out onto you know, your marriage, your your relationship, your fucking relationships with your co-workers and at your job, your kids and your friends and your kids. You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's the energy that you're putting out shit every time man Like, even though they're young and innocent, like they catch vibes like fucking right, they do.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, even like I can relate to both of you guys and like the physical reaction, like I get that internal vibration and the anxiety, man, like that's, like it's almost like the initial reaction is a freeze, but then, realizing I'm frozen and that I can't fucking stay here, it just switches over to fight. So it's that that initial reaction is is the anxiety and the fear, and then it switches and I get that internal vibration and I, literally, when my anger, like dude, I feel like I'm going to fucking puke, like I get nauseous, you know, and then it's the vibration and, like you said, joey, like there's nothing there, like it's like I'm cold and there's no emotion except for anger, like it's not, it's a sick fucking place to be man and I don't mean sick, like surfer dude, sick like it's a not good place to be, like, yeah, man, fuck.
Speaker 3:Well you know well, you know another thing, and I am still to this day, man, I don't think I'll be honest, I don't ever think I'll get over it, because it drives me crazy. But road rage, man, I don't know why I I like I don't like flip out like crazy, but I'll sit in my car like what are you doing? Blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean yeah I think everybody has got some road rage in them. But it's a matter of you, don't take that next step, right? Yeah, but I mean road rage.
Speaker 3:I don't take that next step, right, yeah, but I mean road rage. I don't know. I think everybody's got a little bit of road rage in them.
Speaker 2:If you're going to be angry, do it in your car by yourself. It's a safe place to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's like being a keyboard warrior You're hiding behind your wheel. That's why a lot of people have rage, because they can just speed away and fucking yap their mouth.
Speaker 3:Until someone gets out of the car, then you got a problem. But oh, don't get me wrong, man. I've stopped my vehicle in the middle of the highway, like years ago, to get out like it was. I had a bad time for a bit there, man, but you know, I've been working on myself. But I'll be the first to say I ain't no fucking angel. You know what I mean. I'm real, real as fuck I'm. I'm going to say oh yeah, he's never had road rage before.
Speaker 1:I've been there. But the road rage also stems from something than a guy that just cut you off and didn't use his blinker. And then this guy fucking loses it in his car over it. Yeah, he should have fucking cut you off. He might have put you in the Meridian. Yeah, it could have ended up a little worse or bad. But that reaction to that extent where now you're cutting him off, you're getting out of your car, you're punching out, his window like that's.
Speaker 1:There's something else going on in that guy's life.
Speaker 1:For you to go fucking snap show in the middle of the fucking bridge and pull your car over to lose your shit, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like if he deliberately drove by you, wave the gun at you, tried to kill you. I can maybe see it, but majority of these incidents on on the it's, someone just wasn't paying attention, didn't see you in the blind spot, whatever it is, you know might have fucking blew the fucking stop sign a little bit and then it just and it gets really bad because people's anger issues right and they use that as a trigger from something that stem from way bigger than that little incident and that, yeah, that poor old man that cut you off and didn't see you well, he's getting the the fucking shit end of the stick for that, because it's the shit that this guy's been holding on to. Or a female that they're struggling with and they're carrying that fucking bowling ball in their head. Yeah, because they're already angry. They just got more angry because of the small trigger they're already upset and they're already struggling with something in their head and it's pent up.
Speaker 1:They're suppressed this anger, yeah, in their head and it's pent up, they're suppressed this anger. So now every little thing is fucking. You know, it's turning a mountain from a molehole, like they say, and that's what people do. Then they come home and then the little trigger at work. Now it ruins your whole day and you're coming home and swinging at the wife and smashing the walls and don't talk to me for the rest of the night and they're just, they're losing it because they're holding on to so much hurt and a lot of it is pain and there's a lot of pain, you know, and obviously, and people, yeah, and people take it out in the wrong ways 100 punching out women, all this kind of shit.
Speaker 1:Don't ever do that in front of me, because I'd punch you up. But definitely we don't agree with a lot of how this comes out. But again, like that book that I read, it's not what's wrong with you, is what happened to you. Why are you acting this way? Why are you? Why have you become this person? There's something that you're not talking about. There's you are suffering with a lot of pain and that is what it is. It's a lot of pain and they don't know how to express that pain and it comes out way wrong and ends up. And if you are those people with that explosive anger and that's how you're releasing it you are going to not only hurt the people that didn't deserve it, but you're going to start taking down your own life and self-sabotaging in every aspect. I did it with relationships, but you could do it with your jobs. Now you're losing your jobs. Now you have no money. Now you're stressed out. Now you're not paying the bills. Now you got nowhere to live. Now you can't see your kids.
Speaker 1:Now you can't see your kids, all because you chose not to deal with the pain and the anger that you're holding on inside of you because it blew and it's blowing up in your face and these snap show explosive, angry people. That's exactly what that is. It's blowing up in your face because you're not dealing with so that's the only way you think you know how to express that. But, just like anthony and myself is, when you get to that point, you're, you're blank, you can't feel nothing else. All you see is this anger and this feeling of anxiety and then that's it.
Speaker 1:There's no reasoning with you or anybody in that there's no, calm down, give me a hug just talk about it. It's nothing Like that, just either. You know what I mean. Like you can't reason With someone who gets to that point.
Speaker 2:No, there's no talking you down off that ledge, man, when I get like that, like a lot of situations, like looking back and kind of, what I'm Dealing with in therapy had to do with my ex-girlfriend and she used to say, man, she's like I know, when you get like that, there's nothing I can say to you. I just have to like either like block you until you're done or just fucking ride it out and let you say what you're gonna say and let you do what you're gonna do until you're calm and just sit here and tell you that I love you. Like there's there's no, there's no interjecting in in that moment, because I've got to fucking get through it the way that I'm going to get through it. Thankfully I don't react to the extreme that I used to in active addiction, but it's still not healthy. Like fuck.
Speaker 2:I like, like you said, eric, like I'm still human, but like yeah, the difference is is like that's why we're here. Like I'm acknowledging these things, I'm working through these things, I'm paying money to gain tools to, to be able to handle these things, but it's not an easy road, like for me. Like I can let go of a lot of shit in life, man, but I'll tell you. If anger is involved, anger is the fucking hardest one to like yeah, let go of, you know, but don't get me wrong. Like there, there is a possibility of catching it before I guess that point.
Speaker 2:Like I remember, like you guys remember my story, and like there's certain things, certain details that I left out when I was on the podcast, the first time that you guys know about, but the situation with my kid's mom when I found out she was having an affair, irrelevant to who it is, but I remember when this happened, like dude, I was fucking angry and I remember calling my sponsor being like dude, you better give me one good reason not to pull up to this motherfucker's house and drag him out of his house and beat the shit out of him. Right now he's like, well, like I can't stop you, you could do that, but like let's just think of the consequences here before we get there. You do that, you're probably gonna go to a jail, go to jail for assault, and he's probably gonna end up fucking your girl anyways, and that was enough for me to not do it in that moment, right?
Speaker 2:but yeah there is that threshold, that if you crawl, like for me, if, if I get past that line, you might better just leave me alone until I come crawling back apologizing because there's no, it's all gas, no fucking brakes and it's sometimes you just need space yeah yeah space and like these fucking rage rooms, man, like I just want to hit one up just for shits and giggles, I feel like that's, that was like such a good idea, like what a way to corner an emotion, the fucking hardest one to get through, you know and profit off of it yeah rage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you also can bring whatever you want to smash as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah so you can add to it and bring whatever and you know what Use it. That's an outlet. That's why it's called Rage Room to release aggression. Like I know a few people that have gone to a Rage Room and they walked out like dude, I fucking needed that and that was their therapy. Just like you know, a lot of people use yoga as their therapy or the gym. Some people use the rage room, use a heavy bag in a gym and go box for half an hour and hit that bag.
Speaker 3:Definitely.
Speaker 1:Anything. If you're that person that needs to get that, you definitely anything. If you're that person that needs to get that, you're that explosive, fucking raging type of person and you know that. You can feel it coming on or you're you know you're just having a fucking real bad day and you just you're walking around and people are what's wrong? Nothing, and you know that it's coming and people can see it. Your kids can feel it.
Speaker 1:Man, go for an hour, just go to that rage room to go talk to somebody, go hit the bag, go fucking hammer the weights something and find that release, the positive release. Go run up the side of a mountain, in a trail, whatever, and just you got. And that's all about, that's all a part of learning to regulate your emotions better. So, like anthony said, and you you were, well, we're all human, we're all going to get mad at something, we're all going to be angry Sometimes. You, you know we're all going to get disappointed, we're all going to get hurt. As we get older, it's just going to keep coming. That's life, that's normal, yeah. But the biggest thing is when you get to those moments and you can feel it, especially with the aggression and the rage and the to bring that anger from holding onto it for a week to now. You're only holding onto it for an hour, right?
Speaker 1:And that's the big, that's the biggest thing of of regulating your emotions, and learning and finding these tools is so that you're able to calm yourself down and not get into that level of anxiety and and basically, that's it's pain. That's what it is, it's just a rage of pain. Yep, so you're holding on to who saw shit.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Do something that do whatever it is to take work, man, I mean. I mean you know what I mean Do something that do, whatever it is.
Speaker 3:I mean, I mean you know, yeah, breath work is amazing, you know, take cold plunges even. But you know what? The best thing you could do I would Say is take that anger, take that rage and transform it into Something that's going to drive you and like your business. If you're out there and you know, have your own business, but you got some rage in, you fucking use that rage and drive it in the business to make it go farther.
Speaker 2:There are. Use your anger.
Speaker 1:And your pain as a passport To elevate you Don't let it.
Speaker 2:That's a good one Like that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, use it as a passport to elevate you, to make you better. Use that pain as a reward. Right, take that to drive you, like you said, not bring you down. Turn that inwards Instead of out onto bleeding on people that didn't cut you and tearing up your own freaking house that you know you're going to have to fix three days later Because you're an idiot, because you can't control your emotions. So why not take that, flip it around, turn it into. If you're already idiot because you can't control your emotions, so why not take that, flip it around, turn it into? If you're already working on a business, go harder on your business. You're a big gym guy. Now you're going twice a day. Until you learn to calm down and release and let that push you.
Speaker 1:Just like heartbreak, like the heartbreak, especially, and, and that all goes hand in hand. Use that pain, use that anger. And because there is a lot of anger in heartbreak, especially, and that all goes hand in hand, use that pain, use that anger and cause there is a lot of anger in heartbreak, especially when it's something like I said they cheated on you or it was with your best friend, and all this things that happened to these people that causes this rage and this pain and this anger. But turn that around. Elevate yourself with that pain, because that is your biggest blessing. Is that pain? It's just the perspective on how you look at it and what you do with that. Like we said last week, your perspective is either your power or your prison. Which one's it going to be? It's like choosing your heart right.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Well what about you, Anthony? Like what I know you're actually like you. You touched on earlier that you know you're talking about anger right now with your therapist, yeah, so what could you suggest to like people that are listening that, like you would say, to deal with that? If you like to help you deal with your your anger.
Speaker 2:You know what it is for me. The biggest thing for me is acknowledging it before I get to that point. You know because I I like I know I'm explosive, but I can feel it building up and it's like the thing I I talked about with my therapist is like what am I gonna do with it?
Speaker 2:like because it's it's energy right, it's just built up energy. And Like where am I going to put it? Like, fuck, I might just start knitting sweaters and by the time I'm done, if I'm angry as fuck, it's going to be the best goddamn sweater I ever knit in my life.
Speaker 3:I could use some socks bro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. Yeah, it's cold and wet out there, but, no, just like Acknowledging the emotions before they get to that point, you know, because you can stop it and for the most part, I'm good. But my therapist, honestly, boy, she's really just tried to push me into like she said to me. What did she say to me? Fuck, she's like. She's like I know you're an information gatherer, like I know you're a learner. I know you don't like to let people down. So, like when you feel like that, she's like I want you to do this for me. I want you to start looking into certain things.
Speaker 2:Like, actually, I got it on my phone here. Let me look. Where the fuck is it here? Um, uh, like when I'm, when I'm feeling that feeling, do some research on safety and feeling unsafe. Um, and how fear equals rejection, seeking validation from other people. Um, where's the other one here? Just like she essentially said, like when, when you get like that, just like Joey said, uses it as a time to to learn more about yourself. When you start feeling a little fucky, start learning about yourself. You know, do the research. And that's why this thing is is perfect for it.
Speaker 3:Right, let's keep doing the research finding the lesson and really, like we always say, you know, I mean there's a lesson in everything in life. Right, it's just a matter of you know, opening your eyes and finding it. You know it's like that uh, what's that? That red car? You see the video, the red car effect or whatever. Yeah, you know. You ask how many red cars did you see driving home? Oh, I gotta think about it now. But if I told you, look for red cars before you go home, you're gonna count every single one of them.
Speaker 2:Dude, I do that with guys that I sponsor all the time. I'll tell them the way I, the way I word it to them is, I'll say okay, tomorrow by the time, like lunchtime, text me at lunchtime, tell me how many red cars you saw on your way to work. They'll text me and tell me how many red cars they saw and then I'll say, okay, cool, how many blue cars did you see? And they're like well, I wasn't looking for blue cars, like exactly so your perspective was focused on the red ones and not the blue ones. So if you can change your perspective that easily, why not do it in other aspects of your life 100 instead of being angry instead of being resentful.
Speaker 2:Why don't you just try being fucking grateful and, like joey said, like last week, like you can't be. What'd you say?
Speaker 1:you can't be anxious and grateful at the same time no, it's impossible, because the part, the front part of your brain yeah that controls your anxiety is the same part of the brain that controls gratitude yeah so you can't be grateful and anxious at the same time and that shit works dude like I literally try to pinpoint little shit in my life, to just try to feel anxious and then think about being grateful.
Speaker 2:It's like, yeah, you can't do both at once no, you can't easy as fuck man like that's you can be.
Speaker 1:You can be. You can have anxiety through the roof and it's you're fucking shaking, feeling sick, and then like, oh, but I, I'm grateful for my. You try to say it out loud, even. But it doesn't work.
Speaker 1:Because when you're grateful, it's like a feeling, it's like an emotion, emotion, almost like when you're in a good spot in your day or even in your life at the moment and you really think look back at the things that you do have and that you truly are grateful for. You can feel that, yeah, and that's what they mean is the gratitude. Everyone can say, well, I'm happy I have healthy kids, I'm happy I got my mom and dad still, I'm happy this, I'm happy that, but you're not feeling it. It's just like manifesting. It's the same thing. Oh, I know I'm going to get a million dollars, I know my business is going to take off, but if you don't feel it, it's not going to work. So the gratitude has to be. The same thing is you've got to feel it and you've got to be in that feeling of gratitude and being grateful for the things that you do have.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, and I actually heard, and you know what, you asked me last week, anthony, about what our quotes were. You know that. Motivational quotes, yeah, and I totally forgot this one, and it goes hand in hand with what we're talking about right now, and it says if you, if you don't learn the language of gratitude, you will never be on speaking terms with happiness oh, I like that boom, that's a good right I like it and it's facts.
Speaker 1:and it's facts because, instead of, oh, I don't have this and I don't have that, you're like man, because you see so many people out there in the world and we take so many things for granted, especially in the Western world, like we have way more than most people think they do.
Speaker 1:And the people that think they have problems. They have no first world problems, they just got work to do. They just complain I don't have this and I don't have that and my life sucks because I didn't get that raise last week and whatever. It is all these stupid first world problems. But when you can sit back and be like you know what Dude, my kids are so happy when I'm with them and when I see them and with their other family and I get along with everyone at work, all these little things that people seem to overlook, like I have a nice, nice decorated, cozy house.
Speaker 1:I actually I have a car, doesn't matter if it's a fucking Ferrari, I have a car that runs and gets me to where I need to be. I have great friends and all these things that everyone Seems to look past. And it's all about material Things and, oh well, I'd be happier if I had that new Corvette and this and like dude shut up, like no, you wouldn't, to be honest, because I was that guy. Oh, I'm gonna. And it's like Retail therapy when you're feeling shitty about Yourself.
Speaker 1:You start to Borrow the credibility of fucking material Things because now I feel better looking. And I feel better because I fucking rented a ferrari and I bought a corvette and I did this and women paid two grand for a designer bag.
Speaker 1:You're an idiot you're an idiot like like yeah, we all it's nice to have nice things, we all want nice things and it's and I encourage it. Yeah, get something nice for yourself once in a while. If you can treat yourself, you deserve it 100. But all these things that you're born credibility for, just a. It's just a front and a cover for how you're really feeling about yourself and and how your life's going, because you're trying to impress people that don't give a fuck about you.
Speaker 1:Fancy cars and five thousand dollar designer bags only impresses broke people yeah that's it and you think like yeah, you can post a fucking picture of you and my new convertible beamer and you get a couple likes and no, that's at least core. But most of those people are like fuck that guy, man, I want that car. Or they don't realize. Like you just went broke buying this stupid thing to try to impress people, because you feel shitty about yourself, because I did that with one of my cars. Dude, fucking, fifteen hundred dollars a month who the fuck pays that for a car?
Speaker 1:I did because I was so down so down on myself that I thought buying this car would make me feel better. And two weeks later I just put myself $75,000 worth of debt instead. And I had the car, but I'm like I can't even afford to drive it now, like you're a fucking idiot.
Speaker 2:That's what I see now. Man, that's exactly what I was going to say. Like when I see people with really nice things, the first thought in my head every time now it's like holy fuck, could you imagine how much fucking debt they're in? Like you don't own it. Like let's be real, you know. Like you're in debt for that thing. That's my first thought every time. Super nice house like fuck, what's their mortgage a month? Like how the fuck do you afford that? You know fucking 250 000 mercedes. Like holy shit, that's got to be a mortgage payment on a fucking vehicle that you drive part-time because you're sure shit not driving it in the winter. You know what I mean. Like it's just a waste of money, man I just fucking drug money man
Speaker 1:yeah, I heard. I heard this the other the other day. It was like a financial show or something on the tick, tocks and shit that if you drive down the street and you look at all these big houses that everyone looks at, that has a boat in the driveway, two new cars in the driveway. Seven out of ten of those people are living paycheck to paycheck and they're one financial move away from going bankrupt or one layoff from fucking losing it all. That's so true, so true, man crazy. But everyone sees that convertible new car, that guy's driving like, that guy's balling like. No, he's not. He still lives in his mom's basement on a fucking mattress and his fucking sister's, his roommate what?
Speaker 3:is it house broke or whatever it's called?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, house broke house broke, yeah because the people that, like I said, all these things only impress broke people. That's it. Because the people that have money don't dress like that. They don't have. They have used cars because they're smart. That's why they got money.
Speaker 3:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean Anyways.
Speaker 3:I'm broke.
Speaker 1:We're kind of getting a little off subject here.
Speaker 2:I'm played. Have you guys seen the road rage? Holy fuck, am I having a stroke? Road rage tiktoks, where the people, like, are in the midst. Seen the road rage? Holy fuck, am I having a stroke? Road rage, tiktoks, where the people are in the midst of the road rage and they actually realize that they're just being fucking stupid.
Speaker 2:I saw one the other day and this guy's like he walks up to the window and the guy's in the car filming the other guy. He's like I'm going to beat your fucking dick off. And the guy in the car is like that's a little gay, isn't it? And he's like, yeah, that is a little gay, I'm sorry. And then he just like turns around and walks away Like what the fuck man, making ass of yourself.
Speaker 3:What about that idiot? That's like they made so many memes about it. The guy's punching on the window.
Speaker 2:Oh, and they made like songs with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, man.
Speaker 2:We should get him on the show right, we'll help you out there. Buds, we'll do a 10 step program for you yeah, I know a couple of those steps, but at the end of the day, man, at the end of the day, we're all fucked.
Speaker 3:We all have these emotions. Everybody is the same. We're all the same. You know we go through these highs and we go through these lows, but it's how we deal with them, you know. You know we, we joke around whatever, but at the end of the day, yeah, like go see a counselor, you know, do do the work. There's anger management programs and books. You can get them online even. You know, scream in a pillow, punch a bag, punch your pillows. You know whatever it is to get that out, you know it's just don't hold that shit in, man, it destroys you yeah, man nobody's immune to this shit here's.
Speaker 2:Here's one more good question, because I do believe that there is an appropriate amount of anger. Like you're, you're allowed to be angry at certain things. Yeah, definitely. So what would be your guys, situations where you feel anger is acceptable? And, joey, you kind of already touched on yours with your kids when it comes to your parenting and your kids, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. But is there anything else you feel is like an appropriate scenario? And in saying that I don't mean like I'm allowed to be angry so I'm allowed to punch 16 holes in my fucking door. There are situations where anger is an adequate response to a situation. Anger is an adequate response to a situation. So like for you guys, what would you feel like a scenario or something in your life that you hold so much value where you feel like getting angry would be an appropriate reaction?
Speaker 1:well, you're right that anger like there is healthy amounts of anger right.
Speaker 2:There is.
Speaker 1:And it is normal. Every single one of us is going to feel angry or frustrated at somebody or something, and you're going to feel that from this day forward, probably a million more times. Either if it's just a small thing or a big thing, you're going to feel it. It's anger, it's normal, it's a normal emotion, just like if you're thing, you're going to feel. It it's anger, it's normal, it's a normal emotion, just like you know if you're sad, you're going to cry. You know you're happy, you're going to smile. It's the same shit. It's all normal emotions that we're allowed to feel and it's okay to feel those things and even anger is one of them. Them, you know, and I think, for healthy anger.
Speaker 1:It, you know, for me is like I, I take I work very hard, I've always worked hard in my in life and, uh, in my day job and and so on. So, like me, at my job, for example, I'm a supervisor, right, and I'm probably the coolest, best supervisor and I get along. There's no, I'm above you, no, nothing. But when you deal with people and you ask them over and over, for example, and probably with people with their kids, you ask them over and over like, clean your fucking room. I need you to do this before we go out or at work. I need you to get this done. We're on a schedule. We got to do this tomorrow, like Before we go out or at work.
Speaker 1:I need you to get this done. We're on a schedule. We got to do this tomorrow, like I'm the one that sees the week ahead. I'm just letting you know this is what we need done, and then you're not doing it or you're making excuses. And because I take that very seriously, because One thing about me is I Hate when someone tries to make me look dumb or if I feel like I looked up that just for me, like that's something that fucking puts me over the edge and I'm chill. So for me, it's dealing with people at work where you get angry but just because you care and you want a job done safely, or if they're not doing it safely and that kind of shit, right. So, yeah, that's just one example that I can think of off the top of my head, but yeah, that's fair um my turn yeah, bud uh, I would have to say definitely being disrespected.
Speaker 3:um, I think that's actually a big one for me, because I don't go out there and I I don't disrespect anybody, I want to be talked the same way as I talk to and, like we said, there's different levels of angry. Right, definitely, but definitely, I would say, being disrespected or being belittled or bullied in that category definitely would shoot me off.
Speaker 2:And that's kind of what mine would be too. I have a hard time respecting people who don't respect people. You know, at the end of the day, it's not fucking hard to just be a nice person. I had one scenario I was going up to see my tattoo artist and I always stop at this place and get these little fucking donut things for them Cause they love them and I love, I love them.
Speaker 2:They're great people, like everybody who works at the shop, and I go in there and this guy some fat, fucking lazy old slobs getting pissed because it's taken long, it's a Friday night, the place is packed, so like let's just fucking relax and he's losing his shit on all these these employees and my initial response wanted to be he was to tell this guy to shut the fuck up, but instead I paused and I walked out and I got in my truck and I was like you know what fuck this? And I walked back in. He was still in there and I just walked up to the cash. I said how many of you guys are working here right now? And I think there was six or seven of them.
Speaker 2:I'm like okay, can you just ring me up for something? They're like why I was like, cause I'm going to tip every one of you guys 10 fucking dollars, cause you guys are doing an amazing job. And I turn and look right at him. You know it's like, yes, yeah, you don't fucking asshole to this guy, but you, these people, just got shit on by this guy because he's miserable, because he can't go home and stuff his face little donut holes like fuck this guy. You know, like, instead of doing that, like turn it around and show respect to the people who are working hard. You know, I.
Speaker 2:I have a serious issue with with people. Even when they're angry can't show respect to other people. You know, like, yeah, like, yeah. Like you said, treat how you want to be treated, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man yeah.
Speaker 1:It drives me insane.
Speaker 1:I think for me, though, like I had the reason I didn't say that what you said is because when I see that I go, I think, a little past the healthy anger. Yeah, when I see, like you said, with that guy, for example, like straight disrespect, like I will stand up for anybody in a store, at a gas station, if I see people getting treated like that, especially for no reason, or you're going to, I'll fucking talk to you face to face right now. Yeah, and my that anger because I'm such that is one of the few things that will set me off is one making me look dumb. And the disrespect, Like even when I date women, I don't even I've never even sworn at one Like you say, fuck when you slam a door, yeah, but I'm huge with respect. There is a huge difference between you know joking around and that line of disrespect, whether it's in relationships or with your friends. You know with friends especially, but in general, like if I, especially in public, like what you've seen, buddy like, for example, I've seen that I don't know.
Speaker 1:A month or two ago I was at Subway and there was a gentleman and his mom. The guy was probably 30 something and the mom's like 50. And this lady, I swear, was like the most miserable human being on the planet. And she's telling these young pakistan girls that are making her sandwich and there's five of us behind her and we're in work gear and she's like you want to hurry up, please? And like, like, talking like this. I'm like, excuse me. And she's like and then the poor little girls, you know what I mean. They're like so quiet and innocent and they're like okay, would you like this? She's like I said onions, like just snapping for no reason. And then the son, I guess, or whoever, is waiting outside. So this lady Is snapping at these young little, these girls, and you can see they're like terrified now. And then she's like would you like any sauce? She's like no, I said no fucking sauce.
Speaker 2:She's like, will you?
Speaker 1:will you people hurry up? I'm like that's it. I looked at the lady. I said you people, who the fuck do you think you are? I don't care if it's a woman or not. You start treating people like that.
Speaker 2:I'll fucking tell you where to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah and I looked at the lady and I looked at the lady that was ordering this time. I said you don't get that fucking sandwich now. And then I looked at the two young girls. I said I'll pay for that and I'll give it to the people behind me. You ain't getting fucking nothing. I said she's like excuse me. I'm like get the fuck out of here right now. How dare you talk to people like this or you disrespect people like that, who's just trying to do their job? And they were listening to what you said. It's not like they were not to what you said. It's not like they were not hearing what you said. I was like I just paid for that sandwich. You don't fucking get it. And then she walked out and fucking slammed the door open. I'm like fuck her Too bad, yeah, and I paid for her sandwich that and I just gave it to the fucking lady with the two kids. I was like four people behind me.
Speaker 2:It's almost like that shit.
Speaker 1:So there's no healthy anger there. There's no healthy anger. You see, like that and you treat people like that. Because on the first season of this podcast and I say it all the time At the end of every episode what do I say? If you can't find good people, be good people, because there's not enough of them in the world.
Speaker 3:But, joey, that is good anger, because you're setting this woman straight Because she's being disrespected.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but the way I was feeling In the anger wasn't good there's good angry there's. There's good for them, but bad for you, yeah, for them good well, setting them straight, sure, and standing up for people that aren't aren't able to stand up for themselves. But the way I feel in a situation like that, there's no good anger there. There's like if you were a guy, I would already got arrested, because I probably would have drilled you right in the head for fucking saying that to them yeah, fair enough. You know what?
Speaker 3:I mean. So there's no good anger in terms of how I feel I know, I know we're getting to the end here near there, but I do have to ask you one thing, joey where's your turntables? What the fuck was that Where's? The turntables.
Speaker 1:And here it comes.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And here it comes.
Speaker 3:I want to see the turntables. Did you get?
Speaker 2:some I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Are you actually getting some?
Speaker 1:Well, no, because I started an entertainment company.
Speaker 2:Oh, did you really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I'm already doing my yacht parties and shit.
Speaker 3:Prestige Worldwide man, buddy, I got the best DJ name for you. You could wear a milk crate over your head, because everybody's putting It'd be DJ Milk Crate. Your first tune would be Lactose Intolerant. You know, no homo Like. I think you'd be great. Bro. I got all your shit lined up. I'll be your producer. I got you man.
Speaker 2:Dude, wind up, I'll be your producer. I got you. Man. Dude, you fucking got this shit from chad gpt didn't you?
Speaker 3:not at all, man, not at all. You're so full of god. I swear to god man, these are genuine. No, me and my buddies, uh, we were intoxicated years ago and my buddy's running around his house with a milk crate on his head and he had a d DJ Turntables and we were like, okay, new name DJ Milk Crate. We came up with all these milk names For the DJ tracks. I'm telling you, buddy, it was fucking hilarious. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:But no, I've been working on the entertainment company Because I already got DJs, bartenders, security. Now I'm doing doing all because I do my yacht parties and everything yeah and I were, and that's huge already and uh, so I'm doing all the little events in the middle, building up to every yacht party every year beautiful yeah, he's, he's, he's killing it.
Speaker 3:He's got some surprises.
Speaker 2:I'm excited, man so let me ask you, eric, how's the, how's the head spins coming over there, bud, because he's going to need answers, yeah, oh no problem, I'll do a fucking couple air flares for you too, bro. I got this shit.
Speaker 3:I used to be able to do a jackhammer back in the day, man.
Speaker 2:Strap a couple fireworks to your ankles and do some air flares.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I did, I've never done air flares, but I could do windmills, crunch mills, jackhammers, turtles.
Speaker 1:I could do flares, but not air flares, I can do jackhammers in the bedroom.
Speaker 2:That's a healthy outlet of anger. For anyone listening, that's a good form of anger.
Speaker 3:Hell, yeah, man, fuck, it is Rage, sex fucking.
Speaker 2:It's the best oh yeah, that's real.
Speaker 1:I'm not getting anything just make sure she doesn't go fucking blue in the face yeah, and then you end up on the fucking stand yeah, pretty much well boys, what do you? Think I think that is it for episode three. That's a fucking good episode it's always good, buddy, yeah, always good, yeah, these, yeah, fuck.
Speaker 2:You were on fire last week, eric, you're on fire this week. We're all on fire, boys. This thing's awesome, so for anybody.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm that's why I'm going to the doctors tomorrow. That's is it? Oh, no, sorry, you're talking about us, okay.
Speaker 2:So, guys like we, we love doing this thing, but you know, at the end of the day, the listeners are the most important, right, like that's why we do it. We, we love to hear from you guys too. So, like, don't hesitate to reach out, don't hesitate to leave a review or rate us on on our spotify, tiktok, itunes, apple music, youtube, any of that shit, guys. Like all of it helps, um, and if you are struggling or you want to come on the show and just have us grill you for a fucking hour, we'd love to have you. Hit us up on TikTok at rawmindspodcast. Follow us at our respective TikToks rawmindseric, rawmindsjoey, rawmindsanthony. And if you want to keep anonymous and you just want to have a chat outside of the podcast, hit us up on email as well at rawmindspodcasts, at gmailcom. And yeah, what can I say about anger? Just fucking breathe. Just fucking breathe it out and don't be a dick in public. Just fucking love everybody.
Speaker 3:You don't know what people are going through fuck 100% can't find good, people are going through fuck 100, I just remember bye.
Speaker 1:Can't find good people, be good people love you bye, we'll see you next time.
