Raw Minds
Welcome to Raw Minds, the podcast where we explore the challenges and triumphs of men's mental health, single fatherhood, and daily life experiences. In each episode, we dive deep into the issues that go on in men's minds, sharing personal stories and insights that can help you better understand yourself and the world around you. Whether you're a single dad, dealing with mental health challenges, or simply looking for inspiration and guidance, this podcast is for you. So, sit back, relax, and join us on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
Raw Minds
Raw Minds S2 Ep. 2 - Stop Being a Bitch: Are you a Victim or Victor
Raw Minds S2 Ep.2 - Stop Being a Bitch: Either You're a Victim or Victor In this thought-provoking episode, Erick, Joey, and Anthony dive headfirst into the tough reality of the victim mindset that many men struggle with today. With Anthony in his second episode, the trio takes a brutally honest approach to explore the difference between being a victim and taking control as a victor. They challenge listeners to break free from the mindset that keeps them stuck, offering candid insights on why it's so easy to fall into the trap of self-pity and blame—and how to escape it.
The hosts don’t just stop at talking about problems; they give listeners the tools to flip the narrative. Through raw conversations, they share personal experiences of overcoming challenges and discuss the critical importance of owning your journey. Sprinkled throughout the episode are their favorite inspirational quotes—those words of wisdom that have kept them grounded and focused during their own struggles. These quotes aren’t just inspirational; they’re game changers in the fight to reclaim personal power.
This episode is a call to arms for men ready to step up and redefine what it means to be strong in today’s world. If you're tired of feeling stuck or constantly playing the victim card, this conversation will inspire you to take a long, hard look at your mindset and make the necessary shifts to become a victor. Tune in for an intense yet empowering dialogue that’s bound to leave you thinking long after the episode ends.
yeah, buddy, we are back once again to the show that shatters the silence on men's mental health.
Speaker 2:We are unedited, unfiltered and, as always, we are going raw.
Speaker 3:I'm anthony and I'm joey and I'm eric and we're your hosts and welcome to raw minds. Boom, no bloopers on that bitch. Nailed, it Nailed it that was our first intro With Anthony.
Speaker 1:Season 2, episode 2 Our awesome new co-host, mr Anthony how you doing.
Speaker 2:Good boys, another week, here we go, let's do it Another week on the books.
Speaker 1:And what are we rocking tonight?
Speaker 2:We are going to talk to Fuck.
Speaker 1:You know what you know with our first season and you know why we do this show is obviously to give advice or pointers and how to get through certain things that you know we've been through and that's why we're all here and it's all great and share and be vulnerable with some of our really deep stories and the things that we've been through but we've also not really shared on.
Speaker 1:You know, I guess on a different angle of getting people out of that hole in an aggressive way and basically, like, the title of the show tonight is Stop being a Bitch. Like everyone is constantly blaming the world for all their problems and pointing fingers it's all of this, exactly, exactly. But they're not looking at themselves in the mirror to really make those changes to fix their lives and fix the mistakes that they've made or choices that they've made. So it's basically about stop being a fucking bitch, stop crying all the time and make changes. It's only up to you on what you do going forward and if you're not happy with where you are in your life, then start changing. You have to, that's it.
Speaker 2:That's what it comes down to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, get off your fucking ass. It's nobody's fault, but your own. Look in the mirror, say you know what I fucked up? Or I need to make changes and start now, because if it's important to you, you're going to make the effort. Anything else is just an excuse. That's all you're going to do is make excuses, and that's what most of you guys have been doing for years and I even did it for years is making excuses. I don't have the time. I can't do that, because he did this and she did that and she broke my heart, like, just just stop, because it's. You can't play fucking cry wolf forever and people are always just going to feel sorry for you. You need to get up. It's time to put your fucking shoes on. You took a knee. Now stand up. What are you going to do going forward now? How are you going to level up in your life? How are you going to make those changes? And it all starts right now and with you and with you only. Well, what?
Speaker 3:are you only Well?
Speaker 2:what do you?
Speaker 3:got to do really is make a plan right, that's what it is. Write the shit down and then cross that shit off, man. As you go through it One by one, Don't overload yourself. But you know, smarten the fuck up, man, really Smarten the fuck up. Live life. Like Anthony says, pick your heart right.
Speaker 1:Yep, pick your heart and that's it. And either way you look at it, anything in your life, it's going to be hard.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:And do you want to keep sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself and feeling heartbroken and poor me that this happened to me? Yeah, that's probably one of the hardest things you can do. And not go to work and not be present with your children and lose friends because nobody wants to hang out with you, and even lose your job because you're late all the time or sleeping in and not showing up. Like to me. That's probably the hardest thing you could do. Yeah, and it's, and it's in the negative and it's just gonna make you feel even worse. Or you can flip your perspective on it, look at it and be like you know what. Yeah, this really hurts that this relationship was over and I didn't get the job that I worked so hard to get. And. But now you take the time, be by yourself, get rid of the distractions, focus on the you know, put your head in the books, the pen and the paper, write down, like you just said, your goals, your, your aspirations, what it is that you want in your life, and you start checking those off one by one. For me, like when I was, you know, two years ago, when I could leave my bedroom for five days sticky notes, my entire mirror in my bathroom was covered in sticky notes, and every little sticky note was a goal or a positive affirmation or something that I knew that I had to change in myself or in my life, and some of them would take a year, some of them takes a week. But you start banging out those little tiny ones first and work your way up, just like debt.
Speaker 1:You always hear about debt. Right, you bang off the smallest debt, yeah, and it feels like a huge win. Then you start tackling your biggest debt. It's the same thing with your goals Start banging out the little ones, your day-to-day goals. Now you shoot for the week goal. Now you're shooting for the one. It'll probably take you a month or two, right, but that's it. You just have to make that list, write it down and the distractions is. The hardest part is learning to be by yourself and focus and find out who you really are and what you really want I think it's important.
Speaker 2:I think it's important too that, like, when you're writing this stuff down, be very fucking careful at how you word this shit. Like make it achievable. You know, like the only way I can relate it is to my recovery. At the beginning of my recovery, when I first started getting sober, do you think I could sit there and say to myself I can never do drugs or drink ever again? That's a big fucking ask for anybody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:Can I not do drugs and drink for the next hour? That's a lot more achievable. So when you're writing down your goals, goals, make sure you word them in a way that you can first of all understand but can perceive yourself accomplishing. You know what I mean. Say you want to go to the gym, you want to gain 20 pounds. To sit there and say I want to gain 20 pounds, that's a lot of fucking work. To gain 20 pounds, that's a lot of eating, that's a lot of training. Like that's a lot of training, like that's a big goal. But go to the gym, commit to doing your split, whatever it is a three day split, a five day split. Do your split for a week. Go do every body part once. Start there. Then you start doing it every week. Now it's time to change the diet. Let's remove the sugar from my diet. You know small achievable things and how you word. It is super fucking important.
Speaker 2:And to touch on what you said, joey, about it being hard to sit there and feel bad, I think 90% of the problem comes from sitting in that spot of fear. Is it's predictable If I don't move, nothing's going to happen, right, you can predict that and it's not ideal, but you can predict it nothing. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? One of the quotes that I saw the other day that that fucking nailed me across the head was success doesn't happen by accident, it happens by action, right, yeah, if you, if you're not taking action, you're not going to get anywhere, but if you're taking action, you're going to get somewhere. Another one I'm just going to fire a couple off your voice, because they all tie into the same shit yeah, man, the best.
Speaker 2:Thing you can do is take the shot. The second best thing you can do is miss the shot. The worst thing that you can do is not take the shot. Yeah, that's another good one that I heard and I was like shit. That's so true though man, it's so true.
Speaker 3:You know, how do you know if you're going to get the job if you don't even try, you know, and then you're going to be stuck in your head oh, I should have did it. I should have did it. But then the day you know you didn't do it. Now you're just going to sit there with that regret and that job could have whatever changed your life, right, you know?
Speaker 1:Well, that goes for anything. It's like going up to the pretty girl in the bar. If you say nothing, the answer is always no, because you didn't take the shot. You didn't take the shot, it's an automatic no.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, and it's just like the job that you go for. If you don't go for it, it's an automatic no every time. Yep, that's predictable because you ain't doing shit. Yeah, and most people are too scared to take that step, but you know like you are 90 ahead of everybody else just by starting or just by taking that shot Right, and even if you fail, well, you didn't fail, you never, or you missed the shot. It's not a failure, it's. You just learn from that. So it's a positive. It's all about changing your perspective. Your perspective can either be your power or your prison.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right Well.
Speaker 3:I mean, when you say perspective like, you should really think of it as, like this your mental health is your priority, your happiness is essential and your self-care is necessary. You need, you need all that in order to, to push forward and and and be a better person inside and out. I guess you could say, but I mean, it's, it's, it's's true. You need to be happy, man. If you're not happy, shit's just gonna go bad all the time. You're gonna have a cloud over your head, you know, and then you're just gonna hope people feel sorry for you. Well, fucking too bad, man up, be the man that you were meant to be. Fuck the little things. Tackle one little problem at a time. Try not to take on too much so you don't overstress yourself. You know, and take it easy. There's no, there's no time frame. You know, especially when you're dealing with mental health. There's no time frame, man, take your time, but don't stay down.
Speaker 1:You can't do that shit no, and when it comes to your mental health in general, like you will always deal with it, you will always have your struggles, no matter how good you are in your life, we still have moments. I'm in the greatest place mentally, but there's not a day that goes by that I don't have like a small trigger and it doesn't. But because of everything that I've learned and the tools that I've built or added, it doesn't last very long. But we all have. We all have anx, we all have anxieties, we all have fears, we all have moments of loneliness and sadness and all that shit. That's normal, yeah Right, human. But it's like Anthony said If you don't take that shot, if you don't put in or take that first step or ask that person out or shoot for that job, the answer is always going to be no, that's it, and you're just going to stay stuck and stagnant and, like I said before, the next year is going to go by and you're going to look back at the last year that went by and nothing's changed. You just wasted a whole year of your life because you never went for that job. You just a lot of people, because they're stuck at this certain level of their self worth right, because you'll never exceed that, ever than what you believe that you can have in your life or get. It's impossible. So that's why most people don't take that job. But they don't believe they could get that job. They don't believe that they're good enough to date that girl or guy and they don't believe they're not, they're good enough to make that much more money than what they're already making. Because that that's your self-worth right there, yeah, right. And you can never exceed that Any, nobody can until you learn to raise that. But in until you learn to raise that. But then the best way to raise that is to start taking those shots. Exactly Right, yeah, miss, shots or not, you're taking the shots and guess what? Eventually you're going to be hitting those threes, yeah. And you're like and I should have taken these shots three years ago, I should have been practicing from the free throw line fucking five years ago. Yeah, that, basically, is what it is, because now you're starting to you build your self-esteem and you're building yourself for taking these shots.
Speaker 1:So now, all of a sudden, you're surprised a little bit. You're like shit, I did get the job. Like, wow, I never thought I I got. How much more of a raise I got. Boom. Now you're feeling a little bit better, like that man. Why didn't I apply for this last year? Why didn't I do this? Oh, now she she actually wants to go on a date with me. Holy, I never expected to land a girl that that beautiful or whatever it is. It's all ties into the how you perceive you know your life and your day-to-day and what you do with it. So take the shots the night, like I said, 90. You're ahead of everyone just by taking the shot and just by starting. Well, that's what happened to me.
Speaker 3:That's what happened to me like a year and a half ago, man. We were both working at this company. I was getting treated like shit. I hated my job and, to be honest, I was like, oh, where am I going to go? I'm a little bit scared to move companies because you never know what's on the other side. But that's what I did.
Speaker 3:I took the shot. I said, fuck this man. I got too much self-respect to be, you know, belittled, put down and being bullied by people higher up in me. It's just, it wasn't worth. It was a toxic relationship, toxic environment. So I said, fuck this shit man. I I gotta do what's best for me and my family. And I took the shot, as like you said, and I left that company and I was on uh ei for a little bit and I got uh sent my resume to one of the best constructions companies. I probably is even the best out there to be with. These guys are just amazing. And now I'm killing it Best move of my life. I'm happy. I love waking up to go to work. Today's a holiday, today's Labor Day, long weekend, and I went into work today because I like what I do, plus I mean I, I made that, that that good money. But I mean it's about you know taking that shot. You never know what's on the other side of the door.
Speaker 2:You know it could be the best thing for you, like it was for me the thing that I've noticed too is like when you take that initial shot and you start focusing on the little things, the big things are already falling into fucking place. Yeah, like, without even realizing it, you know what I mean like not even thinking about the fact that you have the potential to make more money in a new job, just focusing on getting the job, you're already putting yourself in a position to make better money. Three months down the road you worry about the little ones, the achievable things, and along that journey of focusing on the achievable things, greater things are already in the works for you and you don't even fucking realize it because you're not even focused on it A hundred percent. You know, but you have to fucking believe in yourself, the way you approach these situations. Like Joey said, like I'm not good enough to get that girl. You have to fucking believe in yourself. I'm not good enough for this job, I don't have the qualifications for this job, so fucking what who's to say that they're not willing to train you? You have to believe in yourself to be able to take that action, to put yourself in that type of position.
Speaker 2:It's important and it matters the way that you talk to yourself and about yourself, to yourself too, because if you don't believe these things, what's the fucking point? Right, like, really, if you don't think you can do something, why the fuck would you even try? But if you have a sliver of hope and a sliver of belief in yourself, that's enough just to get you in. Get your fucking ass off the couch. That's all you need. Continuing to do the right things. Things will happen, and greater things will happen, and you'll be fucking amazed at where life can put you. Take the fact that I'm sitting on your podcast right now, yeah man you know, like I said before, Out of the blue too.
Speaker 2:I was excited to just be on the show one time and now look where we are. Like that still, to me, is fucking mind-boggling. This wasn't even on my to-do list.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this wasn't even on my to-do list. Yeah, this isn't. Even. This wasn't even on my to-do list. I just pride myself on being a good person and sharing the same passion that you guys have, especially for men's mental health, but recovery, amongst a bunch of other things, connecting with people and just by caring about those things, those things put me in the position to be a part of this movement that we're trying to accomplish here. That's a prime fucking example for anybody listening. There wasn't some grand scheme from day one to be like, oh, let's get on a fucking podcast here. It was no, like I'm passionate about this shit. I'd love to share my story. Hopefully you guys will have me on. You guys had me on boom fucking. A year later, here we are, yeah year later, here we are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, actually, man, it's your counselor. You should, you should, thank there. She's the one that paved the way for you to get on.
Speaker 3:That's true too, yeah yeah, there you go yeah yeah, man, I have to say, though I mean, you are not your thoughts, you are the observer of your thoughts. You know what I mean. So, yes, you know, you don't, don't, don't sit in it too much, like don't, don't even, like don't put yourself down. Don't just realize, man, that there's, there's more out there and you need to fight for it. You know, just don't, don't get lost in your own head, because, like, it seems that a lot of people nowadays, especially because this world's fucked up, that they get lost in their head. You know, and it's well, it's, it's sad.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, man you have to learn to be able to control control your own mind, but if your mind controls you, you're fucked. Yeah, yeah, and that's where you get stuck, spinning this fucking hamster wheel of stress and overthinking, and this because you're allowing your mind to take over. And, dude, I'm probably the most guilty of it, where my mind controlled me for years, with the overthinking, anxieties, this and it, and it just brought me down to again where I wasn't able to be present in my in the days that I woke up my fucking head's way over here, because your mind has now taken over, right? So you have to learn to be able to control your mind and not let your mind control you. And the biggest thing to move forward and take those steps is you know, everyone waits for motivation. Yeah, motivation is great. Sometimes I hear a song and I'm fucking pumped. Yeah, I'm going to the gym. Yeah, you get that little adrenaline pump of whatever. A motivational video, like I'm not going to lie. Yeah, they help, they pulled me out of some dark holes listening to a few of them.
Speaker 1:But everyone, most people, is waiting for the motivation when the only thing that's going to get you farther in life and to build yourself and level up is discipline. Right, you need the discipline. So, no matter what, if you're feeling like shit, you don't want to do it, you're having a fucking horrible day, everything you think is going wrong around you. But you need to still tell yourself I still have to go to the gym, I still gotta go for that hike, I still gotta go to that yoga class, I still gotta make my bed, I still gotta clean the house and you know those little things like your house and the garbage, and do that. That change is huge on how you feel as well on your day-to-day. If you come home and like you have a mess everywhere that you created, but then you're just walking over, you're feeling shittier about it. Yeah, but because you're so fucking out of it, you're like, oh, fucking, and then you just leave it. Then it builds up, then you feel shittier, but you start tackling all this on your day-to-day. That's how you start feeling better, that's how you build your self-worth and it just goes on and on. Like Anthony said earlier, it's like all these big things are already falling into place by doing all these little things, and that's why we always say you start by doing that one thing every day. That's out of your routine, that one degree right, and eventually all these little things will start leading you into the big things that you didn't even think was possible.
Speaker 1:Like anthony, a year ago you asked him, like he was just happy to be on our show and now he's a fucking full-time host, yeah, man. But but he wouldn't have got here if it wasn't for other things that he was doing. To get him here, right, because he was in his recovery, he was doing the right things, he was talking to the right people, he was seeing counselor to fix whatever he had going on. And because he went to the counselor who put him on a podcast. Who's now, because of that, you're sitting on the podcast, right.
Speaker 1:So he wouldn't have thought ever until he's seen his counselor like you, never even listened to a podcast. Thought ever until he's seen his counselor like you, never even listen to a podcast. Yeah, so that's what episode we try to tell you guys. It's like these little things will put you into a whole new direction that you thought that you're going because you're now doing one thing out of your routine every day. But you need the discipline, because excuses will make today easier and tomorrow harder, but discipline will make today harder and tomorrow easier.
Speaker 3:Well, just a little touch on there, like how you said, anthony, how we, you know, went through some stuff. Well, you know, in dealing with everything and you could see it through the podcast that you know, man, you went through it, you can't go around it, you can't go over it. You went through it and what you did is you, you went through it, you can't go around it, you can't go over it. You went through it. And what you did is you went to your counselor and then they pushed you on to, you know, a podcast, you know, and plus, you're going to counseling, you're dealing with that. You weren't running away from it. And, like joey says, you can, you can. What is it outrun? Depression, is that? Is that the saying?
Speaker 1:yeah, you can. You can outrun depression yeah, yeah, right.
Speaker 3:So and that's I'm not saying that that's what you're dealing with, depression or anything, but I mean that's what you were doing is you're going through it, you're dealing with everything you know and that's essentially how you outrun all this shit, is you deal with it and you find other tools and other things to you know, kind of what we were talking earlier. What did I say? Um redirect. I guess you could say you know, so you're redirecting that feeling somewhere else and it's like you're, you're, you're putting it in a box and putting it away in a sense, but not burying burrow, burying it. I can't even speak.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly well, and that's the thing with depression, too, is like is we tend, especially as men, and why we don't talk about it, about things, is because we're men and we bury it. Yep, and all that does is just just like a heartbreak or anything else that you're having to deal with in your life or traumatic experiences or whatnot, is. We bury it, we hold on to it, but we don't talk about it and we move forward and then we end up bringing that into the relationships, bringing that into our marriage, bringing that into our parenting, and it drags out and we've said this numerous times in the last season is when you feel you heal and, like you just said, you have to run right through it. Right, if you have the demons that chase you in the night, you have to turn around and face them. You have to In order to better yourself, in order to grow, in order to raise your self-worth, in order to outrun that depression, depression, and we sit in it.
Speaker 1:And you know, at the beginning of the show we're talking about stop being a bitch. Well, it sounds a little insensitive now, but I don't really care. Is now you got to stop being a fucking bitch? Yep, stop playing. Poor me, poor me. This happened to me nine years ago and, oh, I have abandonment issues and, yeah, I cheat, but this is because of this, when I was 10, like, honestly, you, you guys, gotta knock that shit off, because what happened to you 10 years ago is not today and it's terrible because a lot of things that happen to a lot of people is traumatic. I understand, but regardless, you still have to look forward, not backwards, that that's happened.
Speaker 1:So how do you deal with it? The best that you can and the tools to move forward so that those triggers, when they do come up, whatever it is like I just said with me, I'll get it, but because of what I've gone through and what I've learned, that shit will last like 20 minutes and I'm more self-aware, like, no, you're not going there and boom, my day's better. Instead, it would have lasted me three days because now my mind's controlling me instead of me controlling the mind. Yeah, and then you're fucked, right, yeah, so it's that. That's, that's the only way you do it, because it's life, man, as we get older, you're gonna deal with shit every day, stress, every day, stress, every day. Normal, but it's just finding the tools to keep your head level and more self-aware and present.
Speaker 3:Well, there's that saying Sorry, go ahead. I didn't mean it. I thought you were done there.
Speaker 1:No, no, go ahead.
Speaker 3:No, I was just saying because it ties into what you're saying is there's that saying where it says that's why the windshield is bigger and your rear-view mirror is smaller. Right is bigger and your rearview mirror is smaller right. You want to look at the bigger picture and fuck the smaller picture. I just wanted to get that in there before I forgot it there because it tied in really good to what you said there well, it's just facts.
Speaker 1:You're looking forward. That's why the windshield is bigger, because you're going forward, right? Yeah, you're looking in the rear view because it's behind you, yeah that's why you don't got eyes on the back of your fucking head.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly but you know, I think I even said this last week. I think it's like where do you think your life would be in if you didn't spend all this time stressing and sitting in the things that's happened to you in the past that wasn't your fault. Your life would be so much better if you learned to let that go and just like you know what. And you don't even have to. You know, if it was something that was done to you that was by a friend, by someone close to you, that hurt you, you don't even have to forgive. They always say forgive and move forward. I don't believe you have to forgive. You don't even have to forgive. They always say forgive and move forward. I don't believe you have to forgive them. You just have to learn to let it go. Yeah, definitely you don't have to forgive them for, because some people don't deserve that period ever. I know a few. But doesn't mean you can't let that go where it doesn't now affect you and live rent-free in your head and affect your day-to-day, because you just can't stop thinking about this or what they've done, because all that's doing is just dragging you down right and it's preventing you from from your, it's blocking you from your movement into the future, and a better one.
Speaker 1:Anchors 100. And I carried them. Man I was. I was dragging the ball and chain around my ankles For years with things that happened to me that wasn't my fault. But to think of where I would be Even better today If I didn't drag those that weight for years, if I just learned to just let it go.
Speaker 3:Did you get a rash around your ankle?
Speaker 1:Fuck I should have Fucking. Let it go. Did you get a rash around your ankle? Fuck I should have fucking pins in me, pins fucking.
Speaker 2:Nod off the other thing too, is like the easiest place to start is like fucking talk about it. Don't get me wrong. There's stuff that I share in therapy that is for fucking therapy, right. But look at it this way everybody probably has one friend that would rather hear about your fucking problems and just be an ear for you than watch you fucking suffer at all because you're not hiding that shit as good as you think you are. You know if you're in your head, like for me, I know if i're in your head like for me, I know if I'm in my head, I'm staring at the ground. I don't really want to talk to people, I'm quiet. I have a buddy. The same way man, I can tell every time he's in his fucking head I'm like dude, get out of there.
Speaker 2:Like what's going on shared in therapy, but you're having a bad fucking day, man you're. You're only as sick as your secrets. If you just got to say it to get it out there now it's not in your fucking head and stewing in your head and and spiraling, like joey said, and and then your mind's taken over the minute you put it in the fucking universe. It's not just your problem anymore. You've made it somebody else's problem, and as long as that person cares about you, it's really not that big of a problem to them, because they care about you and they love you and they'd rather sit there and just listen to you talk than fucking sit there and stew in your own suffering.
Speaker 2:I'm not here to watch anybody suffer in life. You know like, don't get me wrong, there's a lot of people who've done wrong by me. But am I going to take the time and energy to focus on them suffering or am I going to take the time and energy and focus on me healing what's more important to me, because them suffering isn't going to change anything in my life? Maybe get a sliver of fucking gratification for a brief moment, but I'm still left at the same place that I was before they were suffering. Right, you gotta fucking prioritize your shit, man. Prioritize your shit, and You've got to come first.
Speaker 1:Well, and I will say real quick, is that most people that have problems they're not even problems, they just got work to do. Yeah, but it's the perspective and how they look at it, because 99% of the harm caused in your head is by you and your thoughts. Most of the time, the problem isn't even the problem, it's the way you think about it is.
Speaker 3:That's it.
Speaker 1:It's your perspective, right, your power or your prison.
Speaker 3:Let me put this on you guys. Let me put this on you guys Me personally, I hate this shit. I hate it. I can't stand it. And this is not opening up. What about people airing their dirty laundry on Facebook and shit like this? I can't stand that shit, man, 100% for attention.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. It blows me away that people do this. You know. Go get the help you need. Fuck that shit man. Stop crying over spilled milk. Stop fucking dumping all your shit. I see it all the time, males and females, all the time.
Speaker 3:You know smarten the fuck up Like nobody, not everybody wants to hear your shit. You talk to the right avenues. Talk to your friends, not all these random people. You know. Reach out to the right people because a lot of times, man, people are gonna post this shit and then they're gonna get hate comments. Well, like, look at all the youtube videos and stuff. You know people try to do good things or or whatever. There's haters just on that, so you can imagine, you know when people are are airing out dirty.
Speaker 3:Nobody wants to hear it, man, and it's just gonna make you feel more down, you know. So I just had to put that I hate that shit man well, I mean regard.
Speaker 1:It's that all that is is a self reflection of where they are in their life and how they feel about themselves and how damaged that they are, that there's a lot of things in the background that they've never dealt with.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Otherwise nobody would be posting that.
Speaker 3:Well, and that's why our title is stopped acting like a bitch, like it's, it's, it's fucked.
Speaker 1:But that's the thing is most people don't realize is that 98% of the people on their friends list don't give a shit, yeah, and the other two just are glad that it's not them.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Unless you're like really hurting for, like, you actually want the help. You know, a lot of these times people are just screaming out there just for your attention and not the help. And I'm going to this as as an example and it's it's. It's a bad example for what I'm gonna say, but I'm just that guy. So when, when a jumper is at a bridge, if he's gonna jump, he wants to kill himself, he's gonna fucking jump yes you know he's not gonna stand there for hours and think about it.
Speaker 3:You know, a lot of the times people go there to to a a bridge and I'm gonna jump and they stand there. It's just for attention, you know, and it's. It's the same shit, man. It's like people just scream for attention and, to be honest with you, I'm fucking sick and tired of it. I go through hell all the time. Man, I'm not reaching out, fucking posting. Oh, you know my, my dog ate my homework and this and that and all this shit. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:It's like do the right thing, be the fucking the man that you proceed to you to be and go and get the help that you need you know, and stop reaching out man huh find your fucking people the right one man, the right people because at the end of the day, that's that's what's going to save you is like the right people around you. You know, show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.
Speaker 1:Type of shit well when it comes to social media. Like me, personally, I hate it, but because of this, the podcast and my clothes, etc. You have to have it and I really I don't want it, but you have. And now I got to a point where, even if it's you're not even my close friend, but you're on my friends list and all you're doing is posting the negative, like that trauma dumping on your statuses, even giving play-by-plays. It's the same shit. Like oh. I was in my backyard today gardening and the tree kind of fell and almost landed on me. Thank god it didn't okay. And then I went in the house and I made meatballs. Like nobody gives a fuck. Like why do you like? It's like you think that the 1200 friends you have are waiting.
Speaker 1:Like you're a tv series like oh next episode fucking kim kardashian shannon almost got rear-ended coming out of her driveway it was a close call. Like it's like even that shit. I delete it. Negative, especially negative, I delete it. I'm like the the, the pointless, especially because of face. It's like you look at all the like instagram, tik TOK, like it's a whole different. Everyone's got a lot of the same or of multiple like I do, but the core group of like Facebook especially is just hating, fucking trauma, dumping, negative, update your entire life, 20 statuses a day, like I. Just I can't, I don't even scroll a page on Facebook.
Speaker 3:Well, 98% is fucking negative man. Oh, it's just ridiculous 98% of that shit is negative.
Speaker 1:However, since we're talking about social media briefly, this is also a big part of the changes in your life as well, and getting out of whatever situation that you've put yourself in right, because everything in your life, right where you are, everything in your life is reflection of the choices, of a choice that you have made, right. So if you want to start making these changes and doing the different things like each day, like we talk about in the routine, all these little things, a big part of that is your social media. I'm not saying you have to delete it, but if you are one of those people that posts daily, just stop. And if you do post positive, motivational, about your kids, know these things, keep it positive.
Speaker 1:And there's someone else who's always posting dumb ass memes. Yeah, a couple of them are funny, I'm not gonna lie. But when they're posting 30 memes a day and stupid ass, immature, fucking comments and dude, fucking, delete it. Man, you're just, it's just keeping you the same as everybody else, just like you, surrounding yourself with your immediate friends. You know, like you just said, show me your friends.
Speaker 1:But if you're feeding into this whole social media side of the same thing, you guys are all on the same level and you're never going to change and you're never going to grow because all you're doing is like oh, this trash happened on the highway. Negative All the news articles, this one was murdered Negative, negative, negative. You got to delete all that shit and stop posting that shit too. That's a huge part of it, and what you're taking in daily and what you're reading, not just putting out there Massive, Like you know, remember we had a gentleman on our show as a guest who tried to commit suicide five times and was in a psych ward at 40 years old and two marriages failed.
Speaker 3:Blah, blah, blah he's on his way. He was on his way to commit suicide, remember, and we were talking to him and we, we caught him literally the day before and asked him to.
Speaker 1:You know, talk. Anyways, when I looked at his social media, his title, his username or whatever on his fucking social media was Depressed Male. That was his name. Depressed Male. That goes to.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is I told him right away take that down, change that right now. You got to stop putting that out there into the universe, just like whatever you post, you're putting that out there. All these negative things, all these backstories and fucking murders and whatever's going on in your city. Just stop it. I know, when he took that down, he started you know, once we chatted and it's not all on us because he's the one that made the changes, we just helped. You know we can't take the credit, but we helped him. And what was it? Two, two months later? It was the mindset hustler was his name and he's posting motivational videos every day and he used that to help him get out of that.
Speaker 1:So, just by changing your social media is massive, because that's what you're putting out. Media is massive because that's what you're putting out to the universe and that's what you're taking in as you're reading. And you know, all these people, they doom scroll, as they say. You know we've all been guilty of it. I've done that with tiktok, but I usually do it and try to do it in a positive way. It's always motivational videos, motivational clothes, that kind of shit. Yeah, you get a couple funny ones, whatever. That's normal. But if you're that person, every day you're fucking scrolling, doom scrolling. That means you need to make some changes in your life in general, because if you have the time to do that for one, you're just fucking just running on autopilot and all you're doing is this all day, just like binge watching tv every day.
Speaker 3:Especially on the shooter.
Speaker 1:It's bringing no benefit to your life at all. And you get caught up in the social media world, just like I said, and now you're on the same level as everyone else and now you're feeding into the drama that people are posting, or you're posting it. Cut it off, man. And if you've got to shut it off, delete it. If you don't have a business, or or you're trying to promote something, then just delete it for a while, completely. There's no point of having it, really, unless you know what I mean. Like, take a break.
Speaker 1:Like I tell you, you notice a huge difference. Just like I deleted facebook, I don't know three, four years ago, holy, what a fucking difference. You notice that in days and now, all of a sudden, you're like, oh, instead of I would have been sitting here for an hour doing this, now, okay, I'm going for a run now, fuck, now I'm taking an art class, now I'm doing this. You know, you just got to find what works. And and stop putting out into the universe all the negativity, because that's all you're going to do, is keep bringing that in and that's all you're going to see come up on your post is negativity, because that's what you put out there and that's why everyone engages with each other, because they're all fucking feeling the same way and feeling fucking shitty about their lives. And then that's what they, you, you know, that's what they've attracted and that's what you attract, even with your social media.
Speaker 2:So that's a big one ask yourself why you're gonna post shit too like why are you, why do you want to share this news media story? Does it upset you? Does it offend you? Well, if that's the case, you don't need to fucking share that with the world. You can have your opinion about it. Like for me, it's like I I'm one of those people who doesn't share very much, but when I do, it's it's motivational stuff, it's deep sentiment stuff, it's it's my kids. I share the stuff about my kids, for my, for my family and my close friends. I share the motivational stuff because I have a lot of people on my social media that are in recovery. You know, like, ask yourself why you want to post this thing. You know, like, if you're going to do anything, if you're going to have social, so Jesus Christ, social media. And I agree, joey, there's been periods where I've went without social media and your productivity goes up like so much. If you're doom scrolling, ask yourself. If you're doom scrolling, ask yourself why.
Speaker 2:What the fuck am I looking for? Am I looking for nothing? What needs to be done in my house? Make a fucking checklist every day of the shit.
Speaker 2:I had this conversation with someone the other day because they were. They're having a hard time with certain things in their life. I said why don't you make a fucking checklist of the things that you need to do or that you want to do for yourself in a day? You want to go to the gym gym Cool. You got to go to work Cool. You got to make food for your family and yourself Cool. You want to spend time with your kids after you're done working, they're done school Cool. Whatever you do after that is up to you. You can do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you do the things that you want to do for yourself or that need to be done first and foremost. That's what fucking matters. If you want to be a fucking piss poor person and share shitty stuff on social media, then do it. Am I going to keep you on my social media? Probably fucking not. I don't want that type of energy.
Speaker 2:I don't know what else to say you want to be fucking miserable, I'm not going to save you from that shit. There's people who ask me for help and I can only do so much. I'm not here to fucking save anybody. You know I'm here to to help you as much as I can, but I'm not going to open that fucking door for you, Carry you out of the house, pat you on the back, rub your back, tell you it's going to be okay. Like Joey said, quit being a fucking bitch. I'd rather be brutally honest with you and tell you straight up, because I fucking care about you, than tell you it's going to be fine because it's not. If you don't want to do anything, it's not going to be fine.
Speaker 2:If you want to do something, it might you have a better chance of it being fine. I'd rather surround myself with people who are going to call me on my shit than surround myself with people who are just going to be nice to me.
Speaker 1:I don't need people to be nice to me. I don't need people to be nice to me, and you'll never grow or you'll know you'll never move up right like I'm. The same way is you got to be able, if you love someone or care about someone and they're your boy, they're whatever is you have to be able to tell them with the truth, without worrying about their reaction. Because, because if I was to tell you, you know this and that you need to change this and I'm saying it because I care on my lips, man, I see what you're doing and, dude, you really got to fucking stop and this is why this is you, this is your fault. Knock it off. And I'm telling you well, fuck you, don't tell me and this and that. Well, now, that's on you because you're choosing not to listen to the truth, but I'd rather have you, my boys, pissed off at me and don't talk to me for a month, because I told you the truth, because you needed to hear that in order to make a change. And if you choose not to, well, that's on you how you react to me telling you. That's on you because I got to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Otherwise, you're just going to keep doing the same toxic shit. And if I'm sitting back watching my friend bury himself like man, I'm just like listen, I'm going to fucking smack you in the head and this is what you need to stop doing right now because I care. And you in the head, and this is what you need to stop doing right now because I care. And if you want to be like, well, don't fuck you, then that's on. You know, but I, I'll be okay with that. You've done your part, because I've done my part and most people won't do that.
Speaker 1:Right, just like, just like for, um, a girl who's big and then she really wants to lose weight, but her friends, like you, don't have. You're still beautiful, just like the whole fucking social media world. That's why they never do, because they got their friends trying to be nice. I'm like you don't need to, don't worry about what he says. You're so beautiful the way you are and blow up. No, you like, I'm not saying you're not beautiful, but you ain't healthy, but you have to have a friend. A friend and it starts with. Any change obviously starts with you. You got to look in the mirror and if you're fat and you want to lose weight, you have to look in the mirror and be like I'm fucking fat and I'm sick and tired of being fat, that's it. But you don't. Most people won't even sell that If it is about their weight.
Speaker 2:They don't want to tell themselves that they are, even though they know they are, because they know they'll feel shitty by saying it, but how are you going to move forward and and lose weight or get healthier? Exactly because if you did make a change to yourself, then you got to fucking do something about it exactly most people won't do that yeah usually they wait till they end the account that's accountability.
Speaker 1:I gotta stop eating like a pig. Yeah, I'm fucking fat. Well now. Now you have to be able to change. Look at yourself and say you know what? I'm fucking tired of being fat man. I'm gonna change, starting today. But the sad thing is, if it is important, you will make the change well.
Speaker 3:The sad thing is, though, something drastic has to happen in order, usually, for someone to change. You know, instead of just stepping outside their uncomfortable zone and actually making that change, they need to have a heart attack or get in a car accident, almost kill someone for drinking, driving or whatever it may be, you know not all the time. People smart, yeah, but usually people have to hit rock bottom or something like that in order for them to, you know, make the change something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but why? Why not change before you have to change? Exactly Right. Go on Betty Go ahead.
Speaker 3:I just wanted to kind of bring a little different to this little spin on things here.
Speaker 3:I just want to say too, it just popped back into my head there's a study. I just watched actually a video the other day. Just popped back into my head there's a study. I just watched actually a video the other day because we were doing some research on this stuff and a guy came up and he says you know, when someone like say I'm going to write a book or I'm going to start a I don't know a business or something, do you know it's actually a true fact that, um, people say, oh yeah, good for you, we support you all this. You know all this good, good support that people like say you post it, people are typing yeah, good, we're gonna support you all this. Do you know that? It actually clicks in something in the back of your head or somewhere in your brain and it releases this, whatever it is, and it it makes you actually work harder uh, 80 of the time, and it gives you that boost to actually, like, you feed off of that. Did you know that?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's like encouragement, right yeah you feel better like momentum, yeah, but it's actually like there's actually like a chemical that's in your body that releases to even give you more of that push, almost like a dopamine.
Speaker 1:I guess you could say but the I think the biggest challenge, though, to go with that is you got to be able to push yourself when the sun goes down and before the sun comes up, and when nobody's watching definitely it's not nobody's. Nobody's rooting for you, right? They only reap for you on at the finish line yeah you got to put in the fucking work on your own.
Speaker 1:Nobody sees the work that I do and how many thousands of hours and putting into either the show or my designs for clothes and this and all this other shit behind closed doors. They just seen the end result that day for five hours. Yeah, that's it. They didn't see the 400 hours it took for six months to get that five hours yeah you know.
Speaker 1:But that's the biggest one, and that goes with your discipline, is no matter how you're feeling that day. The biggest one, and that goes with your discipline, is no matter how you're feeling that day and no matter who's cheering for you, because most people aren't going to cheer for you. Is you got to cheer for yourself? You have to get up every day. Stop being a bitch, stop complaining about life and how it sucks and it's all this and that is pick your ass up. You take in a knee. It's time to stand up. Now what are you going to do about it? And that's how it all comes down to. You know it's okay to take a knee, like we said. It's okay to feel pain and feel upset and and be sad, you know.
Speaker 1:And sometimes it takes a little bit longer to to deal, to feel pain and feel upset and be sad, and sometimes it takes a little bit longer to deal with things on whatever loss of family, all these terrible things that do happen to people in life, and it's understandable because it does change you. But after a while you can't stay down for too long. So you got to pick your ass up and and move forward, and push forward and and make that change and don't wait for something bad to happen to change yeah, well, you know I.
Speaker 3:I think the number one thing, really like one of the best sayings really I would say, is don't believe everything you think you know, because you could think, oh, I'm a bad person, you're going to become a bad person. Don't believe everything you think you know. Your mind plays tricks on you all the time you need to believe in yourself, yourself.
Speaker 2:Your mind just makes mountains out of fucking molehills does it ever man?
Speaker 1:the one thing that'll kill you faster than anything else is the thoughts in your own head. Hell yeah, that's. That's facts what's it?
Speaker 3:shakespeare said the the the tongue is mightier than the sword, or whatever. It is Yep, and it's true, it really is.
Speaker 2:So let me ask you guys you guys can each answer and then I'll answer. We'll start with Joey what is your favorite motivational quote and why is it your most favorite motivational quote? Where did it come from? Like, what did it fucking hit when you heard it and why do you hold on to it?
Speaker 1:I off the top of my head is, I would say you. I have to think about that for a second because there's so many of them, because I've had a few that's crossed. I'm like damn, I'm like fuck. Um, you know what? It's not a quote, it's something that when I first heard it, you know you don't really. It wasn't one that just like damn, like it it. You know you don't really. It wasn't one that just like damn, like it stood out. You know, like some of these grab you and you're like holy shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It was. It was something I had to think about afterwards and then really truly understand it later on as I healed more, and one of the best pieces of advice I would say it was advice, not a quote was kill your ego. That's it. Kill your ego Because we are so ego-driven and emotional and when you get to a place where you're able to kill that ego, the way you feel and how you perceive things and how all these things that used to bother you don't bother you anymore and it's just learning to just kill your ego and let it go was the best thing that I've ever done or heard to do, because when I first heard it, I remember where I was at mentally and someone said that the best advice they ever got was that. And I'm like sure, whatever, because it's not one that just grabs you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:But my counseling, and then I really I seen it again pop up a month later. I'm like huh interesting. And then that's where it was like a slowly, like it was just like sitting in the back of my mind and it just got bigger and bigger. And then I really learned that that was one of the biggest things that I've done to bring more peace into my life was just kill your ego.
Speaker 2:You know, what's fucking crazy is, last weekend my kids and their mother were at a campground and I went over there for a fire with them and I was talking to one of her friends and she said the exact same thing. She's like she was talking about her boyfriend and how her boyfriend like uh tries to help people and and he loves killing their ego. And in recovery recovery, we actually have a saying and and he loves killing their ego. And in recovery recovery, we actually have a saying and it's called smashing the ego, and it's the same thing.
Speaker 2:People think that they're entitled to this because they've done this or that or or. You feel like you shouldn't be spoken to this way. Listen, tomorrow is never promised. Life is none of my fucking business. All I have is right now. You know I don't deserve anything. Whatever happens, just happens, and whatever comes, just comes. You know my ego tells me otherwise. My ego tells me I've been working this job so long. I should make this amount of money. Motherfucker, you have a job. You're making money. Just be grateful for what you have. That is smashing and killing the ego. It's just like understanding gratitude and being grateful for what you have.
Speaker 2:It's a fucking oh no crazy, crazy powerful thing once you realize and understand what your ego is and what your ego does to you, and you have the ability to let that go. It's a powerful fucking place to be, because that's when your perspective starts changing. Once you get rid of that ego, you kill, you smash it, whatever the fuck you want to do with it, throw it out. That's when you can start looking at things from a different perspective, because now there's no expectations on anything. So what about you, eric?
Speaker 3:um, I would have to say, hmm, there's two that's coming to mind, but I would have to say my all-time favorite is don't stress over things that you can't control. Um, I think all of us deal with things that we can't control on a daily, you know. It's just about how we approach those. Whatever the the issue is, it's how you approach it, and if you have no control in it, well then step back and wait till you do have control. I think that's one of the one of the things that hits me the most definitely for sayings do you have a situation where it kind of came into play?
Speaker 3:oh, definitely, man, my the whole death of of my fiancee fair enough, yeah you know what I mean, that, if anything, it taught me the biggest lesson there, you know, especially dealing with her, her family, I mean yeah, buddy what just happened the other day about her mom calling me and asking for money for the dog, Like it's just.
Speaker 1:Well, look at the situations that you can't control, that you try to control.
Speaker 3:What is?
Speaker 1:that your ego? Yeah, and that goes just with that. Kill your fucking ego. That goes hand in hand, right there, yeah, man.
Speaker 2:The only thing you have control over is your actions and your reactions to situations. I love it. And reactions basically come with no thought. It's just a simple reaction to a situation. Taking action involves some thinking beforehand. Yeah right, someone punches me in the face and I punch them back. That's a reaction to their action. Someone punches me in the face I think about it. Back, that's a reaction to their action. Someone punches me in the face, I think about it. I'm probably not going to punch them back because I can easily get this person in trouble. That's assault, first of all. That's a shitty example. But reaction involves not very much thinking. Action takes some thought and some planning.
Speaker 3:It's true man, true well I think one what?
Speaker 1:one last thing, real quick, is that you know, like anthony brought it up real quick is the biggest one and this is not a saying or quote, but just and you hear it a lot and I don't think people understand how powerful it is is gratitude, yeah, and it is massive. Right, and it's changing that perspective and looking at what you have, because you know that the frontal part of your brain that controls anxiety is the exact same part that controls gratitude. Really, because you can't have it yeah, a fact, you cannot have anxiety and be grateful at the same time, right, and usually when you're stressed out, depressed, you're all sitting in the anxieties and all that shit. But when you learn to flip that, you're actually changing into the front of your brain. So you're going from the anxiety to grateful and the gratitude. On the looking around and changing your perspective, right, and, like I said, it's either it's going to be your power or your prison, right?
Speaker 1:So when you start looking at a different perspective of, like Anthony just said, I have a job, I'm making money, you know, I have a nice house, my kids are fed, I have a nice house, my kids are fed, all these things that we all take for granted and you start flipping that perspective. You'd be amazed on how things change, because I always looked at the things that I had was never good enough, or it could be bigger, or my car is not new enough or this All this bullshit that most people look at rather than looking inwards and being like I have a car period, you know, I have a nice house and my kids are warm and dude. I got to go on this trip, I got to do this, I got to do that, I still get to do this. You know, it's all these little things. Gratitude will change everything. Once you learn to be more grateful, you start to get less anxiety, because it's controlled by the same part of your brain Science bitch.
Speaker 3:I would have to say, though definitely gratitude, but at the same time, don't settle either. Be hungry for what you want. Yeah, you know Well, there's a difference, right.
Speaker 1:Like you're always chasing, like we all do it. Like if you're always chasing money or say you know, if it's never enough money, you will always chase it and it'll never be good enough, right, and if it's that type of woman, you're always going to chase that woman. So every relationship you're going to get into fails guaranteed because you're always chasing that and the better. But you also have to learn to be humble and that's where the gratitude comes in and play. Like you said, there's a million percent always bust. You know work to get the promotion work to. You said there's a million percent always bust, you know work to get the promotion work to. You know move up in the corporate world, move up in your relationships and what kind of relationships you're in A million percent. But there's also got to somehow be a fine line of where you're not just chasing it all the time and you're forgetting about all the things that you have in front of you. Yeah, right.
Speaker 3:You got to be hungry.
Speaker 1:You've already achieved goals that you said would make you happy. Think about that, yeah.
Speaker 2:But now.
Speaker 1:So now if you're looking at me like I've achieved this and this and this that I wrote down a year ago, but then you catch and people do it, you catch yourself like I'm still not happy because now you're chasing the next one, but then you got to. That's about your perspective is like you've already achieved goals that you said would make you happy. So so be in that, be like, damn, I did do that. And then you know, sit back and have the gratitude for that. You know, and don't be always chasing, but be present, be grateful, but always have that drive to be better, because that's what you have to strive for, is to be better than you were the day before.
Speaker 3:I would say aggressive, though you know what I mean Be aggressive, for, like when you're chasing these goals.
Speaker 1:You know be hungry, but if you're, if you're in the hole that we're talking about tonight or in general, where you're, you're struggling or you you're playing a victim and you think your life sucks. This is where you need to be the most aggressive. This is where you got to stop being a little bitch. Yeah, get up and put your fucking shoes on and start writing down your goals and start knocking them off one by one, smallest to biggest or however you got it laid out, make it attainable and, like Anthony said, you just start doing one instead of like. Like, if you're trying to lose 50 pounds and that's a huge goal because you know your health is in jeopardy Don't look at it as like I have to lose 50 pounds because now you're overwhelmed and every week you're going to stand on a scale, you're going to be like I'm only lost a pound and then you're going to make yourself feel shittier. So look at it and break it down as okay, I have to lose five pounds a week. All I have to lose is five pounds, not 50, five. Then you know, know much faster you're gonna lose that way. And that's where a lot of people fail, especially in the weight loss part, is they get so stressed out, especially women, because they're standing on a scale every fucking day and then they see it go up 0.1, 0.2, like. Stay off the scale for one and just focus on what's achievable in that week or in that month and I guarantee you your mental will be a lot better. It's less stressful and you will achieve it a lot faster if you break down your big goal and I'm just using weight as an example and whatever it is.
Speaker 1:So if you want to get that promotion, but you know you need to do these three courses and that in order to get it, okay, break that down. So if it takes me six months to get there, to get it, but I have to do all these things, all you need to do this week. Is that one thing? Not, I have to do all this and then I can get it. Because now you're just fucking yourself up Right, break it down, small, write it down. Okay, I got to finish that course by next monday. That's all you're dealing with. That's all you're focusing on. Is just that? Baby steps. Not, I need these six degrees and this to get that job. That doesn't fucking matter right now. You can focus on. Okay, what can I do first? Okay, I need to lose 50 pounds. Okay, five pounds this week. This is what I gotta do to lose five pounds.
Speaker 1:That's it, and I promise you, by implementing that into your life like that, you'll be a lot happier. You will achieve your goals a lot faster, because now you're not overwhelmed, you're not stressed. And that's where most people give up, especially in the weight loss or things like that, because they just they failed before they started, because I got to do this and this and you know what. That's just too much work. I can't do it. And oh, I was supposed to lose 50 pounds and I lost four and I gave up after three weeks. That's why because you just overloaded yourself and you're not breaking it down to attainable goals and stressing yourself out. To people like I get too much anxiety, I quit, and that's why most people quit because it's's too much work. Well, it's not. It's really not.
Speaker 2:You made it too much. Work yourself.
Speaker 1:You made it too much yourself, so break it down, chop it up. This is what I got to do this week and this is what I learned huge, because I got so overwhelmed with my shit even last year, like I just wanted to quit everything. I'm like I can't do this, but then I realized I'm like okay, what's the next step? And that's how I started. And now my life. I'm just so much more calm in terms of this because I implemented that, because someone told me that, and now I'm like okay you know, what Everyone wants, the results, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:By tomorrow, when you wake up, you wish you could be jacked and have all this money and lose all this weight. Everyone does, but in order to get to where you want to be, it's a lot of work you've got to put in. But break it down so you get there faster than trying to do it all in one day, like I try to do. And then I was just a mental fucking retard and even my dad came over and was like you need to go for a walk, take a break for days and breathe and that's what a lot of people do, because they're not getting to where they want to be by this time like, but it's not realistic, you need to break it down, chop it up. Okay, this is what I got to do next and just focus on that.
Speaker 3:Well, it's you already failed in your head. Then if you're, if you're acting like that, right, you're just, you're, a million percent.
Speaker 3:You're failing like I said well, like I said in like many other episodes, is like a boxer doesn't go into the ring before he goes to a fight saying I'm gonna lose, I'm gonna lose and he's gonna get his ass kicked. No, a boxer is in the back, he's, he's pumping himself out. I'm gonna fucking shit kick this guy. I'm gonna fucking ruin his face. You know what I mean. And then he goes in there and what does he do? He fucking ruin his face. You know what I mean. And then he goes in there and what does he do? He fucking ruins his face.
Speaker 3:You know, you have to have that mentality when you do anything in life. I'm going to ace this test. I'm going to go there. I'm going to beat this test. You know, I'm going to go pick up this girl. I'm going to kill it. You know, whatever it is, man, you got to like that. Oh, I'm gonna be, I'm. She's not gonna say no, she's. I mean, she's gonna say no. She's gonna say there, boom, she says no, I'm gonna do shit on this test. You go, boom, you do shit on the test.
Speaker 3:You can well you're putting that well, you're putting that energy out there, right, you're just focusing it out and it just comes right back and it'll stick on to you like a bad, bad entity yeah, you're pushing it away yeah and, just like anthony said at the beginning, is belief.
Speaker 1:Yeah, most people don't believe in themselves and that's the saddest part and that's why they do the jobs that they do, because they don't believe they're capable or nobody would hire them to do that job or just the same.
Speaker 3:Like we said, it's all about believing in yourself well, what you got to do is you make the product, you are the product and you got to sell yourself like you were going to buy that product yep you know that's what. At the end of the day, you are the product you got to sell yourself to yourself. In your head. You know what you're going to do, and, and, and and. Achieve those goals at the end of the day it comes up to you and your mindset.
Speaker 1:And you know what Our lives are. A story. You write the pages to your story Right and how you write those pages. And just because this chapter sucks doesn't mean you can't rewrite a better chapter after this Right, yeah, man, you still got a story to tell. So what are you going to do to fill in those pages? Start your next chapter title.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna be a bitch, just like our title yeah, so boys I'm thinking to close out the episode. Hold on.
Speaker 3:One more thing, one more thing. I just have to say I am grateful for both of you guys. I am grateful for everybody that listens to this podcast. I'm just, I'm grateful for all of you guys. So I just wanted to say that and go Chiefs, go motherfucker, we're going to win it. Number three I have to put that in there.
Speaker 2:Well, what I was was gonna say was why don't we close this out by saying something that we're fucking grateful for?
Speaker 1:yeah, so I guess it's your turn, joey I, you know I am grateful for where I've come from to where I am today. You know I plays in my head recently quite a bit and I would, on purpose, like think about the days and the weeks that I was a mess and struggling in the same house that I'm in today and I'm fast forwarding. Looking at it now, I'm like this is where you were laid up for five days, this is where you were contemplating your life. And now look at you, because I chose to change that perspective, be grateful, put in the work. I still got lots of work to do, like anybody else, but I am beyond grateful that looking back at feeling and being in that space, to the space I'm in now, is just beyond grateful.
Speaker 1:Among a lot of things, you know my kids are great. Yeah, you know there's no baby mama drama. There's family's good, everyone's healthy, job's good and things are just up and up and positive. I'm meeting new people. There's so much to be grateful for, man, and this is a lot of things that people miss on the day to day. Yeah, it's because they're so focused on what they don't have and what they want than looking at what you do have.
Speaker 1:Exactly you know want, than than looking at what you do have exactly. You know, let me just I'm grateful and to be here with you guys, man, and to do this every week, man, like, yeah, we took a small break, but we ain't going nowhere, man, so I'm grateful to be rolling in this new season with both of you, so yeah, we just left a major cliffhanger, that's all.
Speaker 3:But let me, let me re-answer that man, since, since I know the question now, obviously the first part of it. Um, I would have to definitely say I'm, I was very grateful of meeting my late fiancee. Um, she really changed my life. I had a lot of, um, toxic relationships in my life and I would say probably 50% is my fault, 50% is the other person. I take full responsibility on my side, but I'm grateful for this woman that came into my life and actually showed me what true love was. It's sad that she passed away, but at the same time, you know, I look at the light of it and I'm grateful that. You know, I'm not grateful that she passed away, but I'm grateful for what came out of her passing away, and it's this podcast, you know, and what, what else. What better way of a gift that she could give me so I can give back to this world and help other people? So I'm I'm definitely grateful for that.
Speaker 2:How about you?
Speaker 3:Anthony.
Speaker 2:I'm grateful for every fucked up decision I ever made.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, because even some of them, a lot of them some people don't get to experience, you know, and it may not have been a good experience at the time, but those type of experiences led me to where I am today, sort of like what Joey was saying.
Speaker 2:Right, all those, all those fucked up decisions when it came to drugs and alcohol and not being a good father, those gave me the perspective of what it is like to be a good father. I get to show up for my kids tomorrow and and watch them walk into the school for for this year of school, you know, I'm grateful that I met you guys on the other side of the fucking country and to be a part of this and to grow this thing, you know. And I'm fucking grateful to be alive, man 100, because I spent so many nights not wanting to fucking wake up in the morning. But I did, and now I'm here and if my day is rough enough and the only thing that happens is I got to fucking stay alive today, that's enough take us home yeah, we'll close the episode out.
Speaker 2:Thank you guys. Thank you for listening. If you're struggling or if you're ready to quit being a bitch, reach out to us on social media. Facts slid that in there, reach out to us yeah, raw minds podcast.
Speaker 2:Or if you want to reach out over email, it's raw minds podcast at gmailcom. Don't hesitate to follow us as well. Uh, raw minds dot eric, raw minds dot anthony and raw minds dot joey. Um, we're grateful that you guys are here too, because this thing wouldn't have a purpose if it wasn't for you guys. So let's close out another episode. Thank you for listening. Love you all. Next week We'll see you.
Speaker 3:One love everybody. Thank you again, bye.
Speaker 2:We'll see you next time.
